Past, Present and Future
by Joe's girl
Summary: In the chaos of Day 5, Bill Buchanan's present collides violently with his past. Will that same day be the key to his future? WARNING: SPOILERS THROUGH THE SEASON 5 FINALE!
1. The Past

_Over the past season, I have come to love Bill Buchanan. I wasn't sure about him in season 4. It was only at the end when he broke the news of Jack's "death" to Audrey that I decided that I might actually like him. Then season 5 started and Bill started working with Jack and I decided that I really liked him. Almost no one has written a story about him so I thought that I'd try. I'm not sure how much interest this will generate, but I'm having fun writing it. Hope some of you will read it. If you do take the time to read it, please review. I'd like to get a sense of how many readers have an interest in the topic._

Chapter 1: The Past

CTU – Los Angeles

Day 5, 4:10pm

Bill Buchanan looked at his watch and then stood up and began to pace the room. It was just after 4 o'clock and, thanks to Lynn McGill, paranoid little bureaucrat that he was, Bill was stuck in a holding cell while his department was trying to chase down terrorists who were in possession of enough nerve gas to kill a significant population of Los Angeles. Bill was confident that Jack was on the right track and that, regardless of who was in charge of CTU, he or McGill, that Jack and Curtis would move heaven and earth to stop the terrorists. In the meantime, he was going stir crazy in an eight-by-eight holding cell. Worse than that, he needed to make a phone call and his phone had been confiscated when he was taken into custody.

The phone call was important. He made one every day at this time. No matter how busy he was, he found a couple of minutes to get to his office or some other quiet place and make the call. If he didn't, he knew that she would worry and the last thing he wanted her to do was worry, especially today after all that had happened in Los Angeles.

Not sure what else to do, Bill used the intercom to call the officer standing guard. He knew the young man well having hired him shortly after taking over the helm at CTU eighteen months earlier.

"Yes, sir," the young man answered.

"Jason, could I see you for a moment? I have something I need to talk to you about."

"Yes, sir. I'll be right in, sir," he answered.

Bill heard him putting in the code on the keypad outside of the door. The door unlocked and Jason Mills stepped into the room.

"You needed to see me, sir?" Mills asked formally as if Buchanan was still his boss.

"Jason, I'm not in any position to ask for a favor, but I'm going to do it anyway. I need to make a phone call. It's important. It's a personal call. You can check the phone logs; I call my sister's house every day at this time to make sure that she got home safely from work." It was only a partial lie. He did, in fact, call his sister's house every day after four but it wasn't his sister, Jane, that he was checking on. "If I don't call, she's going to worry and I don't want her to do that. Could you possibly get me a phone so I can check in with her?"

Jason wasn't quite sure what to do. He had been given strict orders that Buchanan was to talk to no one and, to tell the truth, he was terrified of Lynn McGill. Look what the guy had done to Buchanan. He certainly wouldn't hesitate to arrest a nobody as low on the food chain as a security officer with less than two years experience.

"Look, Mr. Buchanan, I'd like to help, I really would. It's just that I have my orders and I can't afford to screw up and lose this job. My wife just had a baby a few weeks ago and…"

"I remember," Bill said kindly. "I also remember that I gave you some extra time off and didn't charge it against your vacation time when your wife was having some problems with the pregnancy," Bill reminded him.

"I know you did, sir, and believe me I appreciate it. It's just that…"

"I understand," Bill assured him. "Jason, I don't want to get you in any trouble, but I really need to make that phone call. You can get the number off of my phone log and dial it yourself so you know I don't try to call anyone else. Call Chloe O'Brien. She can look up the record for you and verify that the phone number is a land line into my sister's house. I'm not doing anything to subvert McGill's authority."

Jason looked torn and scared. He liked his boss, he really did, but at the moment he was more afraid of McGill than he was the terrorists. "Mr. McGill is crazy, sir," Jason blurted out.

"I know that, Jason. He's so paranoid right now that, if it continues, he's just going to self destruct and be relieved of his command. I don't really think McGill is going to be a problem much longer."

Jason nodded. "I hope you're right, sir." He took out his phone and handed it to Buchanan. "I'll give you five minutes, sir."

"Thanks, Jason," Bill said and the officer left the cell.

Bill smiled as he dialed the number and, as always, it was answered on the first ring.

"Hi, Dad," said the singsong voice on the other end.

"Hi, Sweetie. How was school today?" Bill could almost see her standing there talking on the phone. She was a beautiful girl with deep chestnut colored hair, straight as an arrow, cut neatly just above her shoulders. She stood tall and slender and had his bright blue eyes. She would be wearing the maroon and gray plaid skirt and the maroon blazer of St. James' Academy. At 12 years of age, she had already started to leave the little girl stage behind and was growing into a woman, a thought that was enough to scare a single father out of his wits.

"It was weird. First we heard about President Palmer being assassinated and then there was that hostage situation at Ontario airport. Everybody was really freaked out," Elise Buchanan explained to her father.

"Were you freaked out by all of that?"

"Kind of, I guess," she said sounding uncharacteristically unsure of herself. "I mean, I felt really bad about President Palmer. Why would somebody do that? It's not like he was still president or anything. It's just so sad."

"I know it is, sweetheart. I feel the same way," Bill said trying to validate his daughter's feelings. It was moments like this when he wished that she was a boy. He knew what it felt like to be a 12 year old boy, but being a 12 year old girl was a concept that was foreign to him. It was also at moments like these, when he felt terribly inadequate as a father and silently cursed Elise's mother for walking out 12 years ago without a moment's concern for her infant daughter.

Elise spoke again brining her father back to reality. "Is CTU trying to track down the killer?"

"Of course we are. We'll find him, Ellie," Bill said confidently.

"That won't bring David Palmer back," she reminded him.

"I know, baby."

"Will you be working late?"

Bill looked around the holding cell not sure how to explain his present situation. At the moment, lying seemed the best way to handle it. "Yeah, it looks like it. I don't know when I'll be home. You should plan to stay with Aunt Jane tonight."

"Okay," Elise said shortly. She never complained when he worked late; she knew that he avoided it if he could, but evenings with Bill's youngest sister generally consisted of helping her grade and organize assignments for her high school English classes. In short, Aunt Jane was sweet, but boring.

"Honey, if you need anything from home, Aunt Jane can take you over after work. But after that, I'd rather you two stayed in this evening. There's a lot going on in LA today and I think it'll be better if you stay off the streets. I know you wanted to go dress shopping for the dance next Saturday, but why don't you wait a couple of days and do that later in the week."

"I don't need a dress," Elise informed her father. "I'm not going to the dance."

"Why not? Aren't all of your friends going?" Bill asked. He had heard Elise and four of her friends discussing the dance weeks earlier after a soccer game. Come to think about it, the other girls had done the talking. Elise had been largely silent.

"It's a mother-daughter dance, Dad. In case you haven't noticed, I'm only half of that combination."

"I thought you wanted Aunt Jane to go with you?"

"No, Dad, you wanted Aunt Jane to take me. I wanted to stay home," Elise corrected him.

"All the other girls will be there. Don't you want to be with your friends?"

"All the other girls have mothers," Elise snapped.

Bill closed his eyes. He hated it when this issue reared its ugly head. It didn't come up often, but every time it did, it broke Bill's heart. He had spent the last 12 years trying to be both mother and father to Elise, but it didn't always work. His sister filled in the gaps when she could and both Bill and Elise were grateful for that, but sometimes it wasn't enough.

"Last week you said you were going to go to the dance. What changed your mind?" Bill asked knowing that it didn't take much to alter the decision of a 12 year old girl.

"I don't know," Elise shrugged. "I just decided that I didn't want to go."

"Did someone say something to you?"

Elise hesitated. "Maddy O'Neill and Heather Arrington said that only girls with real mothers should be allowed to go," she admitted, suddenly ashamed of herself for letting the other girls influence her decision.

"Are you the only girl in the class whose real mother isn't going to the dance?"

"No, Helen Adams has a step mother but that's only because her mother died. Sarah Cohen's mom lives in New York, so she's not going. Amy Winters is bringing her grandmother."

"So there will be other girls there without their mothers."

"Yeah, I guess, but I'm not going to be one of them," Elise said firmly.

Bill sighed. "Sweetheart, it's your decision. If you don't want to go, that's fine. If you want to talk about it some more, we'll talk tomorrow," Bill said.

"What's there to talk about? My mother didn't want me and she left. Period."

"It was never that simple, Elise. She was young. She wasn't ready to settle down at that point." They had been through this all before and Bill wasn't in the mood to go through it again at this moment.

"So what's her excuse now? She's had 12 years to grow up and to come and find me and I haven't had so much as a birthday card from her in all that time. Don't try and tell me that she doesn't know where we live. People aren't that hard to track down using the internet. Any mediocre private detective can do it and so can most internet geeks."

If Elise had ripped Bill's heart out and stepped on it, it wouldn't have hurt as much as what she had just said. She was still a child and yet her very grown up assessment of her mother was 100 percent correct. Ava didn't want her infant daughter. And Bill's hope that she would eventually come to her senses and come back to him and Elise had finally begun to fade.

Bill heard the door open behind him. "Your five minutes is up, Mr. Buchanan," Jason said nervously.

Bill looked at his watch. He had at least another minute, but he wasn't going to argue. He nodded his understanding to Jason and started to wrap up the conversation as Jason stepped back out of the room. "Your right, Elise. And I'm sorry, but I can't change that. I just don't like to hear you sounding so bitter. Try and forget I even brought it up. I'll be home as soon as I can."

"Okay," Elise said sullenly. "I love you, Dad."

"I love you, too, Ellie. I'll see you soon."

Bill returned the phone to Jason and then sat back down in the straight-back chair to brood. Part of him regretted his relationship with Ava Stroebel and part of him would never be sorry. The romance netted him a beautiful daughter whom he loved with all of his heart. He was only sorry that Ava's absence hurt Elise the way it did.

The whole affair, for want of a better word, started fifteen years earlier when Bill was assigned to the CIA office in Germany. He had been with the CIA for five years and this was his first chance at an overseas assignment. He had just turned 35 and was rising quickly through the ranks. If he did well in Germany, it would catapult him past others of similar seniority without the overseas experience.

The position in Germany was a chance of a lifetime and Bill was making the most of it. He had only been there for a few weeks when he and two other up-and-coming agents were assigned to attend a formal dinner at the American embassy. Looking back, he couldn't remember why they wanted a CIA presence at the dinner, but it didn't matter, it was there that he met Ava Stroebel.

Ava was young, barely twenty years old, and fifteen years Bill's junior. She worked as a secretary at the embassy but was a conservatory trained singer and pianist. That particular evening, the American ambassador had hired her to entertain during the cocktail hour. Bill remembered how beautiful she was. She wore a black gown and sat confidently at the polished ebony baby grand piano. He couldn't stop looking at her. He would never forget the first thing he heard her play: it was the Beethoven piece Für Elise. It was haunting. He had never heard it played with such feeling. It was as if she were a siren, singing her song and drawing him ever nearer and into a danger zone. He seemed to have lost all control.

The evening progressed and Bill, with a couple of drinks under his belt, decided to talk to the German beauty during her break. Looking back he realized how easily he fell under her spell and, once he did, how easily she manipulated him. He was lost in love by the end of the evening. Before the party ended the two had exchanged phone numbers. Bill didn't want to look too anxious so he waited two days to call her.

It wasn't long before they were dating regularly and had become lovers. Even then Bill had a sense that he should slow down. He regularly reminded himself that she was much younger than he and at a different stage in her life. He was ready to settle down and Ava was still in the wild years that Bill had left behind. And politically they were miles apart. Ava's father had been a high ranking member of the communist party in East Germany before the wall came down. She still had strongly communist views and loyalties. Somehow Bill was able to ignore all of it. No matter how he tried to reason with himself, it didn't work. He was too enchanted by her.

Bill and Ava had been dating well over a year when Bill was offered a promotion and a position with the CIA in Moscow. It was the kind of position that he had been dreaming of. He told Ava the news that night over dinner knowing that she would want to go with him. The Soviet Union may have dissolved, but there were still plenty of pockets of communism there and Ava was convinced that the communist party would be able to regain control of the country again within five years.

Ava was able to get a visa and the two moved to Moscow. At first, their new life there was exciting if a little lonely. Neither spoke much Russian, so it was difficult to make friends among the Muscovites. There were a few Americans and Germans in the area who worked for the CIA and German intelligence, but Bill preferred to keep a low profile among them. He knew that his relationship with a communist sympathizer would not meet the approval of his superiors so he did everything that he could to keep his work and personal lives separate. Ava had kept her views largely quiet while she was working at the American embassy, but once in Russia she felt more at ease letting others know her beliefs.

Over time, Ava began to get involved with radical communist groups and little by little Bill could feel them drifting apart. Ava had become so distant that Bill started to suspect that she had taken a lover. He came home early one day after she had acted particularly suspicious that morning. As he walked into the tiny apartment, Ava was talking on the phone in a combination of German and broken Russian. Bill was fluent in German and his Russian was passable so he understood the conversation easily. Without Ava realizing that he was there, Bill took in the whole conversation. He felt his knees weaken as he clung to the kitchen counter for support.

Ava ended the conversation, hung up the phone and turned around. She gasped as she realized that Bill was standing behind her. "How dare you sneak up on me!" she exclaimed. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough. Why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant?"

"Because I don't intend to be pregnant much longer."

"I gathered that from the conversation," Bill told her. "Can I assume that the baby is mine or does it belong to one of your communist hold outs?"

"It's yours. I don't have sex with any of them. My relationship with them is purely political."

"If the baby is mine, don't I get a say in what happens to it?"

"I'm the one carrying it. If you were so worried about a baby, maybe you should have thought about it before you stuck that thing inside of me," she said crassly.

"You told me you were using birth control pills," Bill said both confused and hurt.

"I ran out and this is like a third world country, I couldn't get any more."

"So you just took your chances? Why didn't you tell me?" Bill asked incredulously.

"It's not a big deal. I've done this before. I get pregnant and I don't want it so I get rid of it," Ava told him casually.

"It's not a big deal? You're kidding me. It's called an abortion, Ava. It's a very big deal in my opinion. And what do you mean you've done it before. Have you done this to me? Have you aborted other babies that we've conceived?" Bill was beside himself. This was almost beyond his comprehension.

"Don't act so self-righteous! You're not the one who's pregnant. And, to answer your question, no, I haven't done this to you before. It was before I ever met you." Ava stalked away angry that Bill was questioning her this way.

Bill tried to gather his wits about him. He got control of his emotions and followed his girlfriend. "Look, Ava, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to blow up at you. This just took me by surprise, that's all. But having an abortion isn't necessary. I'd love to be a father. Let's get married. We'll have the baby together," Bill said sincerely.

"You're a fool," Ava told him. "Do you think having a baby and getting married is going to solve all of our problems? We're barely speaking half of the time. You're out of your mind."

"Ava, please, think about it. Have the baby. If you still feel the same way, then I'll take the baby and you can move on."

Ava laughed. "What are you going to do with a baby?"

"I'll raise the baby myself if I have to, but I don't want you to kill it." Bill was sure if he could convince Ava to have the baby that she would fall in love the child as soon as he or she was born. "Please. Ava, I'm begging you. This baby is half mine. At least think about it."

It took a couple more days of convincing, but Ava eventually gave in and agreed to have the baby. For Bill it was a moral victory. He was sure that the three of them were well on their way to becoming a family.

The next six months was a test of wills for both Ava and Bill. Ava had agreed to carry their child, but she hadn't agreed to like it or to do so without complaining. She and Bill were constantly at odds over something and their apartment had become like a battle ground. Bill was grateful when Ava woke him up at 3 o'clock one morning to say that she was in labor. Once again he was full of hope that seeing the baby would suddenly create motherly love in this woman who demonstrated nothing but disdain for her unborn child.

Eight hours later Bill heaved a sigh of relief as the doctor delivered a healthy baby girl. She was amazing. She had a head full of black hair and the bluest eyes he had ever seen. Her skin was pink and her face reddened even further as she screamed heartily. Bill watched as the nurses cleaned her up and weighed and measured her. When they finished, the little girl was diapered and wrapped in a blanket. The nurse carried the baby proudly to her mother's bedside.

"Congratulations," she said as she held the baby out for Ava to hold.

Ava glared at her. "It's his baby. Give it to him."

Bill instinctively reached out for the baby. "Come here, Sweetie," he cooed. "Daddy's got you." He held her out to show Ava. "Honey, look at her. She's beautiful. What did you want to name her?"

"You don't get it, do you, Bill? I don't want her. I never did. You said that you'd raise her if I had her, so I met you half way. I had her. Now, you get to keep up your end of the bargain. She's yours. You had months to pick out a name. You should have done that already," Ava said coldly.

Bill was crestfallen. He had never dreamed that this would happen. How could Ava not love their little daughter? She was already lighting up his world and he had only been holding her for a minute or two. How could Ava be so cruel? he wondered. And how could he have loved her. When Ava was discharged from the hospital a day later, she left with friends from the communist party. Bill thought his heart would break as he held their child and watched Ava go.

The next few weeks were chaotic. Bill hired the woman from the apartment below his to take care of the baby while he worked, but for the rest of the day, little Elise, whom he had named for that haunting melody that Ava played so beautifully, was his. He learned quickly how to care for a newborn and soon the bond between father and daughter was rock solid.

Elise was a perfect angel, but caring for her full time and working full time was wearing Bill down. It was beginning to hurt his performance at work and some of his co-workers were taking notice. Bill had kept the baby's birth a secret, as he had his affair with Ava, because he knew that it would be highly frowned upon within the agency. The only person with whom he dared share the news was his immediate supervisor.

Nick Granger had known Bill for years and had arranged for his transfer to Russia. Nick came to Bill's rescue keeping the news of his daughter's birth to himself and helping cover Bill's work when he could. Even with Nick's help the situation was quickly spiraling out of control. Bill knew that for his own good, as well as his daughter's, he would have to move back to the States. A position had opened up in New York in the newly created Counter Terrorist Unit. Up until now Bill had been on the fast track and this position was a step down. None of that mattered now. Bill's family, who would help him care for Elise, lived in Connecticut just outside of New York City which suddenly made the job perfect for him. He applied for the job, and being by far the most qualified candidate, was notified just a few days later that the position was his. Bill finally boarded a plane leaving Moscow. Before he left he tried repeatedly to contact Ava to tell her that he was leaving and to try and get her to come with him, but she never returned his calls.

Bill bought a small house in Connecticut not far from his parents. Elise grew and thrived there under the watchful eyes of her adoring father and doting grandparents. She was almost six and ready to start school when Bill accepted a transfer to Seattle. He hated to move so far away from his parents, but decided that the couple, who were both retired and considering a move to Arizona, needed some space after spending the last five-plus years helping to raise their granddaughter.

Seattle turned out to be a good move. Bill started out as an intelligence analyst at Division and was later promoted to Senior Agent at CTU – Seattle. It was there that he first met Michelle Dessler. Like most men, Bill was rendered close to speechless when Michelle walked into a room. She got his attention like no other woman before or since Ava, but she was off limits. Everyone in the office knew Michelle's history. She was married and wholly devoted to the man who had committed treason to save her life and who now sat in a federal prison in California. She worked tirelessly to secure a pardon for him. Bill admired her strength and her loyalty and hoped that Tony Almeida realized what an incredible wife he had.

Elise was nine years old now and, for the first time, beginning to ask questions about her mother. Bill knew that day would come and he dreaded it. How could he tell her that her mother never wanted her? How do you soften a blow like that? Bill struggled with the answers but decided early on that he would never paint Ava in a bad light. He would simply explain to his daughter that every woman isn't meant to be a mother. Ava was such a person. Then he stressed the idea that Ava had truly done what was best for Elise. Instead of staying with him and not being a good mother, she had left Elise with Bill who she knew loved her and would be a good father to her. In short, by the time Bill was done with the story, Ava was a saint who had given Elise life and then had left before her lack of parenting skills could corrupt the little mite. That seemed to satisfy Elise for a while. She understood why her mother wasn't there on a daily basis, but soon was asking why her mother never saw her or talked to her or even sent her a card or an email. It seemed that if she was as caring as Bill had described her that she should at least want to know how her daughter was doing from time to time. Bill found that question harder to answer.

It was around that same time when Bill made the decision to accept another transfer. This one was to Los Angeles. Although Bill liked Seattle, the move to LA was right for him at the time. For one, it was a career move. The position at Division as Assistant Special Agent in Charge was a step up for him. More importantly, his younger sister, Jane, who had recently been divorced, lived in LA. Bill was hoping that some female influence in Elise's life would satisfy what he had come to realize was an acute need for a mother.

One other added benefit to the move to LA was that it allowed Bill to once again work with Michelle. Rumor, which traveled all the way to Seattle, was that although Tony Almeida had been pardoned by President Palmer, the Dessler – Almeida marriage was on the rocks. The rumor was confirmed when Bill arrived in LA to find that Michelle and Tony were separated and that she had filed for divorce.

He hadn't been in LA long when Bill decided to ask Michelle out. He had rarely dated in the years since Elise was born. For the most part, he hadn't had time, but in truth, he had always harbored a secret hope that one day Ava would come back. The rational side of him knew how stupid that was. Michelle was the first woman in a long time who had made him forget Ava.

Elise was thrilled when she found out that her father was going out on a real date. She asked a million questions about the woman: Was she pretty? What kind of job did she have? Did she have any children of her own? Was she the kind of woman who wanted to be a mother? The questions were endless. Bill explained over and over that this was just a date and that he wasn't planning a future with Michelle, just an evening. Elise was undaunted. She was still awake when Bill arrived home after midnight and she peppered him with even more questions.

Bill didn't have the heart to tell his daughter that Michelle didn't even know of her existence. Almost no one that Bill worked with knew about Elise. He wasn't exactly hiding her, he was merely protecting her. His work and personal lives didn't need to cross. He liked it that way. But when their first date was successful, at least in his mind, and he asked Michelle out again, he decided to come clean and tell her that he was a single father. That was always a tricky proposition. Although he hadn't dated much in the past, he had dated occasionally. Unfortunately, what he found was that most women, no matter how well the date went, found excuses not to see him again once they found out that he had a child. He feared the same would happen with Michelle, but was pleasantly surprised when it didn't. Michelle seemed impressed that Bill had so lovingly raised his daughter for all of those years and she was genuinely interested in meeting Elise.

Elise couldn't have been more excited to meet Michelle. Bill planned a Saturday outing at the zoo complete with picnic lunch. He was pretty sure that Elise didn't sleep more than two or three hours the night before. To the motherless ten year old, this was more exciting than Christmas!

The day went off without a hitch. The weather was beautiful, the animals seemed to be particularly interested in being viewed and Michelle and Elise hit it off wonderfully. The only problem as Bill could see it was that Michelle and Elise were forming more of a bond than he and Michelle were. He didn't take it personally. He was pretty sure that she cared for him; it was just that she was still in love with Tony Almeida and it was pretty hard to compete with a guy who had gone to prison rather than let her die.

Bill and Michelle had one more date before calling it quits. He wasn't quite sure how to explain this all to Elise, but she was unusually mature for her age and he simply told her the truth. The little girl, who had pinned her hopes for a mother on this beautiful, auburn haired angel that had stepped into her life, was distraught. No matter what her father told her, she was sure that it was she who had scared Michelle away. She was convinced that she would never have a mother to love her.

He remembered with more than a little guilt eighteen months earlier when CTU thought that Tony had been killed in an explosion with one of the terrorists. He remembered holding Michelle as she collapsed in his arms. His first thought at the time was that with Tony dead he might be able to get Michelle back into his life. He was horrified with himself that he could think that way when Michelle was so obviously grief stricken. His emotions were mixed later when Jack called to say that Tony was alive and wanted to talk to Michelle. He knew instantly that he and Elise had lost Michelle once again.

Bill's thoughts of Michelle brought him back to the present and made his heart ache. He wondered if he should tell Elise that Michelle was dead. He remembered the horrific pictures that police took at the scene. He would never forget the pictures of Michelle lying on the ground like a rag doll among the debris. It hurt too much to think about it. He decided not to tell Elise. It didn't serve any purpose. It had taken her months to forget Michelle and to stop blaming herself for Michelle's break up with Bill. Telling her about Michelle's death could only reopen wounds that he wasn't sure had ever fully healed.

Bill was jolted back to reality when the door opened behind him.

"Mr. Buchanan," Jason said, "Agent Manning called. He said that you've been reinstated and they need you back out on the floor right away, sir. He said something about a possible attack on the Russian president's motorcade."

"Call him and tell him I'll be right there," Bill instructed him as he made his way out of the door.

For the moment, Bill Buchanan, father who was concerned about his daughter, was replaced by Bill Buchanan, CTU director who had, what the world would consider, more pressing issues. Bill switched regularly between those two people without letting them become one. Whichever role he was in got his full attention at the time, however, he had no internal conflict over which of those roles and which of those people was the more important. That had been decided by forces outside of his control 12 years ago when he first held his daughter in his arms and fell more deeply in love than he could have ever imagined he could be. And he had never looked back. Never.

_Thanks for reading this far. Please review and let me know what you think. The next chapter, entitled The Present, should be up soon. It's pretty well outlined but sometimes even when I outline I have trouble writing the chapter. Hope you'll come back for the next chapter._


	2. The Present

_I realized after I posted the first chapter that I forgot to put a disclaimer in it. So, as usual, none of the 24 characters are mine. I've borrowed them from FOX._

_WARNING: Spoilers up to and including the 10pm to 11pm episode. If you haven't seen up to that point yet and don't want to know what happens, don't read this chapter _

_Thanks so much for your supportive reviews. I didn't know if this story would generate much interest, but it has gone over better than I expected. So, thanks to all who reviewed. Now, on with the story._

The Present

CTU – Los Angeles

Day 5, 8:12 pm

If it was possible, Bill's day had gone from bad to worse. The Vice President was sending two flunkies from Homeland Security to "assist" the operations at CTU. Bill wasn't stupid. He translated "assist" to "take over". This after they had numerous employees killed when a nerve gas canister was deployed in the building. And, as if that wasn't enough, Christopher Henderson escaped and killed Tony in the process. As badly as he felt about the nerve gas attack and the loss of life, Bill didn't feel responsible for it. That had been the result of Lynn McGill's pride and poor decisions. On the other hand, Henderson's escape and the murder of a former agent within the medical unit was fully his responsibility and he knew it. Losing Henderson was important. Henderson had plenty of information, but extracting it had proved problematic. He sincerely hoped that Henderson's escape didn't result in any further loss of life. He knew that it would be a black mark on his record, but at the moment that wasn't his biggest concern. If they didn't find the nerve gas he and much of the rest of LA could end up dead. He needed to stop that from happening.

He allowed his mind to wander for a moment back to home and Elise. He had considered calling his sister and suggesting that she take Elise and get out of LA, but he was torn. Was it right? Was it right to use information that ordinary citizens didn't have to keep his own family safe? There were millions of people in LA who had no idea the danger they were currently in. Those people weren't being warned. In fact, the President was about to announce that a curfew was going to be enforced in order to keep people off of the streets. The point was rapidly becoming moot. If Bill wanted Jane and Elise out of the city, he would have to tell them to get out now before the curfew was in place. He sighed. There wasn't a right answer. Bill didn't often feel this way, but at that moment he would have given anything for a very strong scotch and soda.

The intercom buzzed and Bill hit the button for speaker. "Mr. Buchanan," said his assistant.

"Yes."

"Chloe O'Brien has set up a briefing regarding some new intel in the conference room. She wanted you to know about it."

"Tell her I'll be right there, Chris. Thank you,"

"Yes, sir."

Bill shifted the gears in his brain, grabbed a file folder of paperwork that required his signature and made his way down the stairs to the main floor. He strode across the bullpen toward the conference room. He was the last one in the room, so he closed the door behind him and sat at the head of the table.

"What have you got, Chloe?" he asked. At the same time, he opened a file on the table in front of him to sign off on several protocols. He was only giving Chloe half of his attention.

Chloe started, "We've identified a German woman currently in Los Angeles who has had contact with our suspect, Vladimir Bierko. Jack and Curtis have taken a tac team to try and bring her in." Chloe stopped for a moment while she adjusted her computer and projected an image on the screen at the front of the room. Bill continued to look down at the forms in front of him.

Chloe continued. "The name she's using is Collette Stenger and she's basically an international intelligence broker. The German intelligence service has been hot on her tail for months. From what we can tell she has no real loyalties, although she tends to favor communist causes. But she'll pretty much sell anything to anybody if the price is right."

"What do we know about her?" Bill asked, again without looking up.

"Not a lot. Her real name is probably Birgit Miller, but she has several aliases. Interestingly about fifteen years ago she worked for the US embassy in Germany using the alias 'Ava Stroebel'."

Bill felt as if someone had slapped him. He looked up at the image of "Collette Stenger" on the screen and instantly recognized Ava. The picture was recent and she was twelve years older than when he last saw her, but there was no doubt in his mind that she was the same woman. He stared at the picture and, except for the eyes, Elise stared back at him. His heart was racing, the sound pounding in his ears, and he fought to control his respiratory rate. He could feel tiny beads of sweat appearing on his forehead and upper lip. "Do you have anything else?" he asked trying to sound normal. He felt as if everyone in the room was staring at him, like they knew something was wrong.

"Not really. Ava Stroebel disappeared and is believed to have moved to Russia. There was a rumor floating around that she was involved with an American CIA agent and that they might have had a child together, but that was never substantiated. In the last ten years or so she's made a small fortune selling intelligence, anything from state secrets to troop placements to blue prints and schematics. She's become the premier intelligence broker in the western hemisphere."

"What's the ETA on the tac team?" Bill asked as he tried to get his head back into the briefing.

"About five minutes," Chloe answered.

"Good, keep me posted. Let's hope that Jack and Curtis get this woman and maybe she can provide us with some answers. Then maybe your colleagues won't have died in vain. Let's get back to work," Bill said in his firm command voice. He exited the room before anyone else and headed back to his office.

Bill trotted up the stairs to his office and closed the door behind him. Once inside, he nearly collapsed into his desk chair. What he had just heard was beyond all comprehension. He knew from the start that Ava, or Collette or Birgit or whatever her name was, was a communist, but an international intelligence broker! He couldn't imagine. He suddenly felt so cheap and so used. Had she ever really loved him? or was she just using him for information to sell to her communist friends. He searched fifteen year old memory banks and tried to remember if he had ever shared any classified information with her. It wasn't likely. That wasn't his style; it never had been.

Bill composed himself quickly. He had to meet with the people from Homeland Security and this couldn't get in the way.

The next hour was filled with drama. Jack and Curtis found Collette Stenger and Jack brokered a deal with her. She would get immunity if she gave Jack her source. The only problem was that the source she named was Audrey Raines. That resulted in a fruitless interrogation of Audrey, who was innocent and had been set up. In the end, the immunity deal that Stenger had signed was null and void when Jack was able to prove that she was lying.

Then Bill watched as Jack and Curtis raced against the clock to find the nerve gas canisters and destroy them before they could cause more loss of life. He watched horrified as they identified the location of the nerve gas and he realized that the gas distribution center where they were set to go off serviced his home as well as his sister's. He fought back an unimaginable fear of losing them both at the same time, feeling impotent to help them as he stood his post at CTU. The fear was overwhelming and he hoped that he had kept his emotions well hidden in front of his subordinates as well as Karen Hayes and Miles Papazian from Homeland Security. Bill wasn't sure that he had ever prayed as hard as he had for that half hour when Elise's and Jane's safety had been so in question. Chloe's announcement that the levels of nerve gas released were well below toxic brought a relief so strong that it was almost palpable.

Between his fearful watch over the operation and then trying to fend off the hostile takeover by Homeland Security, Bill had momentarily forgotten that Ava Stroebel, a.k.a. Collette Stenger, was in the building. He had been too busy when she was brought into CTU and put into holding to oversee any of that process. He had taken a few seconds to look at her on the monitor that kept watch over the cell. She was as beautiful as ever, in fact maybe more so, or in a more grown up sort of way, since he last saw her. A sharp pang of hatred flooded him. He wasn't sure if he hated her for using him or for leaving him or for leaving Elise or, maybe most of all, for putting Elise in danger. But it was hate that filled him nonetheless.

Now, just shortly after 10 o'clock, Collette sat in a holding cell awaiting transfer to a federal facility. Bill walked toward holding wondering whether to go in and see her or not. He was carrying the papers that transferred her custody from CTU to the federal marshal. He could have turned those over to the security guard and let him explain the transfer to the prisoner, but after thinking it over he decided to do it himself.

"Hello, sir," said the guard standing watch over the holding cell. "Are those the transfer orders?"

"Yeah, Tom. The federal marshal should be here to get her in about a half hour," Bill told him.

"I can take them for you, sir. I'll review the transfer procedures with the prisoner."

"Thanks, Tom, but I think I'll do this myself, if you don't mind."

"Not at all, sir. I just thought I'd save you some time."

Bill lowered his voice a bit and moved closer to the guard. "Truth is, Tom," Bill said while lying through his teeth, "I think she knows more than she's giving us. I just want a few minutes alone with her. I need you to turn off the audio and the visual. In fact, if you'd like to take a fifteen minute break, feel free to do so."

As most employees, Tom trusted Bill. It crossed his mind that it was odd for Bill to extract information from a prisoner using force, but with all that had happened that day, extreme measures were necessary.

"Of course, Mr. Buchanan," Tom said. He turned off the monitors and the audio and video recording devices. "She's all yours."

"Thanks, Tom."

Ava sat with her head tilted back and rested it against the wall. She couldn't believe that she had finally been caught, and by the CIA no less. She had thought for the last couple of years that the German intelligence service or even Interpol might catch up with her, but not the CIA. She didn't do much business on US soil, so it had never been a big concern for her. Her thoughts were interrupted by some movement at the door. She heard someone punching the code into the keypad and watched as the door opened. Her surprise when Bill entered the room was obvious. She recognized him instantly. He was older, his hair now gray and receding, but he had the same handsome face with the strong jaw and clear blue eyes as when she knew him all those years ago.

"Hello, Ava or Collette. Or is it Birgit? No one seems to know for sure. Obviously I don't know. I thought I did, but I guess I was wrong."

"Bill," she said in a breathy whisper. It was all she could manage.

"So you remember. I'm impressed. Gee, it's been a long time since we've seen each other," Bill said sarcastically. "Now seems like a good time to catch up." Bill stalked the room like a tiger. Collette was suddenly afraid of him. His eyes blazed with anger. She couldn't imagine that she could ever be afraid of Bill Buchanan, but at that moment he was scaring her.

"While I've been working my ass off here and raising our daughter, you've been busy building a world class reputation as an intelligence broker, I see," he continued.

"Bill, stop, please," Collette begged. "I'm going to pay the price for all of this and I'm sure you're going to enjoy it."

"No, Ava," Bill said sincerely, "what I would have enjoyed was sharing my life with you, raising our daughter together. That's what I wanted. It will give me no pleasure to watch you go to prison."

"How is she?" Collette asked.

"How dare you ask! If you had kept in touch with me, if you had loved her like a mother should, you'd know how she is. Do you even know her name?" Bill shouted at her.

Collette started crying. "I left the hospital before you named her," she sobbed.

"Don't bother putting on a show for me. It won't work. I won't feel sorry for you. If you wanted to see your child you could have. I tried to contact you before I left Russia, Ava. I gave you every chance to see her and to be a part of her life. You chose to ignore me. You chose to ignore your own child. And for what? To make a fortune brokering information that results in the deaths of innocent people. My God, Ava! How could I have loved you?" Bill threw up his hands in exasperation. "You want to know something ironic? If that nerve gas had been released into gas lines as the terrorists planned, your daughter would be dead now."

Collette looked shocked and contrite at the same moment. "I had no idea. I didn't know, Bill, I swear it."

"That gas distribution center where Bierko tried to deploy the nerve gas services my sister's house where our daughter is staying at the moment since I'm stuck here dealing with a crises thanks to people like you. You have no idea how scared I was when I realized that she could die and there was no way for me to stop it. Thank God our tactical teams got there in time and were able to stop the nerve gas from getting into homes. Because if they hadn't," Bill said, his face now just inches from hers, "we wouldn't be talking right now. My hands would be around your throat and you would be gasping for breath and hoping for a quick death. So help me God, Ava, if I lost my baby tonight, you would have paid."

"I'm sorry," Collette whispered not knowing what else to say and not knowing what else to expect from her former lover.

Bill turned away to try and control his emotions. He knew that this was pointless but 12 years worth of anger and pain were suddenly bubbling to the surface and he knew that he had to express it. He simply couldn't continue to keep it bottled up.

It was Collette who spoke again. "I made a mistake, Bill."

"Getting caught?" he asked.

"No, I was talking about 12 years ago. I made a mistake. I should have stayed with you and the baby. I've regretted it ever since."

"Not enough to come and find us apparently," Bill returned smoothly.

"No, you're wrong. I've wanted to find you for years. I just didn't have the nerve. I knew that I was wanted by intelligence services all over the world. That last place I wanted to show up was in the home of a CIA agent."

"That's touching, Ava," Bill said, his voice oozing with sarcasm. "You didn't come to see us because you were afraid that I'd figure out who you were and turn you in. So you stayed away so you didn't get caught."

"No, Bill. I wasn't worried about me," she started.

"Well that would have been a first," he retorted.

"Let me finish. Of course I didn't want to get caught. That much is true. But the thing that really kept me away was that I was ashamed of who I was and what I did for a living and, most of all, how I abandoned my daughter. I'm not proud of any of that, Bill. I do what I do and I won't deny it, but I don't ever want my daughter to know."

"You don't have to worry about me telling her. As far as I'm concerned, I haven't seen you in 12 years."

Bill continued to pace the room although more slowly now. He seemed to be calmer and more in control. Collette watched him; her earlier fear of him now dissipating.

"You still haven't told me her name," she said quietly.

Bill closed his eyes for a second before he spoke. "Elise Catherine," he finally answered in an equally quiet voice.

"Elise?"

"Yes, you know that I always loved it when you played that song," Bill stopped for a moment as he collected his thoughts. "I didn't know what to name her. When I took her home from the hospital she still didn't have a name. That night she was fussy and I was walking her around that little apartment in the middle of the night. I started humming 'Für Elise' to her and she seemed to settle down and she went to sleep. That was when I named her."

"Did you spend a lot of sleepless nights walking her?" Collette asked.

"Why do you care?" Bill returned pointedly.

"Because I laid awake a lot of nights wondering if she was keeping you awake, wondering if she needed her mother," Collette told him as she stared off at some distant point.

"If you were so worried about her, why didn't you come over and rock her once in a while? And to answer your question, Ava, we did just fine without you."

She noticed that Bill said that without any bitterness. It was simply a statement of fact. Collette nodded knowing that Bill was telling the truth. He and Elise had done just fine without her. She thought for a moment before speaking, afraid to ask the next question.

"Does she hate me?"

"Some days she does," Bill shrugged slightly. "Other days she's indifferent. It depends on which way the wind is blowing and what her hormones are doing."

Collette smiled involuntarily remembering being an adolescent girl. "Has it been hard raising a daughter?"

"I told you before, we've done just fine. Elise is healthy and happy and well adjusted. She occasionally laments not having a mother, like today when she decided that she didn't want to go to the mother-daughter dance at school because some of the girls were making fun of her, but most of the time, she takes it in stride."

"You never married?"

"You were a hard act to follow," Bill said with a slight smile almost forgetting his earlier anger.

"I'm serious."

"It's hard to find a woman who's interested in raising someone else's child. Most women were scared off when they found out that I was the sole custodian of a child. The few that weren't scared off didn't work out for other reasons. I haven't really looked for a wife. I spend my days working and the evenings and weekends I devote to Elise."

"It sounds like a lonely life," Collette commented.

"No, not at all. On the contrary, I'd say you're the one who's had a lonely life. Elise is all I need. She keeps me busy and she keeps me company. We have a lot of fun together. She's bright and witty. She has a wonderful sense of humor. You gave me an incredible daughter, Ava. I really should thank you for that."

"What have you told her about me?"

"I've told her that some women aren't meant to be mothers and you're one of them. I've also told her that she owes you a debt of gratitude."

"A debt of gratitude? How could you possibly say that?"

"When Elise gets angry with you, I just remind her that you gave her life. She understands that it would have been easier for you to have an abortion, but you agreed to have her. Then you gave her to me and I've loved her enough for two parents. That usually makes her smile and diffuses the situation."

"It sounds like you've done a wonderful job, Bill."

"I hope I have. Elise is a wonderful girl. I've loved every minute I've spent with her." Bill looked at his watch for a moment. "I guess I should be going. The federal marshal is going to be here soon to take you to the federal building for processing."

Collette nodded. Bill could see tears in her eyes.

"I'm truly sorry that this is how we had to meet, Ava."

"Me, too," she whispered back, her voice cracking with emotion.

They stared at each other for a few seconds before Bill turned and moved toward the door.

"Bill, wait," Collette said urgently.

Bill turned back to face her.

"Do you have a picture of Elise? I'd like to see it."

Bill hesitated for a moment but didn't speak.

"You don't have to say anything. You have a picture, but you don't want to show it to me. Am I right?"

"Yes, that's right. I'm not sure that you've earned the right to see her. You've had 12 years to see her and you haven't bothered. I'm sorry. She's mine now, Ava. You gave up any rights to her long ago." Bill turned and reached for the door handle. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"I'm going to prison for a long time, Bill. When I get out, I'll be an old lady and I'll be deported back to Germany. I'm paying a steep price for my sins. What harm is there in letting me see my daughter's picture?" Collette asked.

Bill leaned heavily against the door suddenly very tired, the strain of the day beginning to show on his face. Collette watched as he reached in his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He opened the wallet and pulled out two small pictures. He looked at them for a long time before handing them to Collette.

Collette held them carefully by their edges as if afraid to smudge photos that rode around all day inside a wallet and had slightly frayed edges already. The first was a close up shot of Elise in a soccer uniform. Her hair was pulled back and she grinned impishly. Collette felt tears fill her eyes as she memorized the girl's face. "She has your eyes," she said trying to smile.

"Yes, but everything else is yours," Bill pointed out.

"Is she a good soccer player?" Collette asked wanting to know everything that she could about this daughter who she had never met or even held as an infant.

"She's pretty good. She plays for her school."

"Where does she go to school?"

"St. James' Academy. It's a private girls' school. My sister teaches tenth and eleventh grade English there."

"Is she a good student?"

"Above average. She excels in English and history but she struggles a little bit in math and science."

Collette nodded and looked at the second picture. This was a more formal one. It had obviously been taken at a music recital. The young girl sat next to a piano in a black gown. She was holding a small bouquet of roses that Collette guessed Bill had given her. She looked very grown up. "So, she plays the piano," Collette said with a hint of pride in her voice.

"Yes, she's very good. Of course, her favorite piece is 'Für Elise', but she doesn't play it quite as well as you did."

Collette noticed that Bill couldn't hide the love or the pride in his voice when he spoke of Elise. "She'll learn," she said in a voice so low that it was barely audible. She continued to study the pictures of the beautiful smiling girl. "I hope you're wrong," she told Bill.

"Wrong? About what?" he asked.

"When I said Elise had your eyes, you said that everything else was mine. I hope that you're wrong. I hope that she has your heart," Collette said as she handed the pictures back to Bill. He smiled and looked down, embarrassed by the obvious compliment. It crossed her mind to ask him if she could keep the pictures, but she didn't bother. He was going to say "no", so why set herself up for failure. It was easier not to ask. "Thank you, Bill. You don't know how much this means to me."

"You're welcome," Bill answered robotically. "Good bye, Ava." He squeezed her shoulder gently and then turned to leave the room.

"Bill, for what it's worth, I really did love you. When I got into the relationship, my plan was to get as much information from you as possible, but you were always closed lipped. You never gave me any information that was worthwhile but it didn't matter because I had fallen in love with you. My superiors in the communist movement wanted me to dump you and find another agent who was more inclined to pillow talk, but I refused. I told them that I loved you and that I was staying with you. They started excluding me from things and I wasn't as involved as I'd been before we started dating. Then you got transferred to Russia. That was my ticket to prominence in the communist party. Once we went to Russia, everything was different. I got so much more involved and my role took on more importance. I wasn't getting information from you, but because I spoke both English and German, I was valuable to them. And I had so many more like-minded people to associate with that I didn't need you any more and I started to hate your capitalist beliefs. That was when things started going bad for us. I just wanted you to know. I wasn't using you. When we made love, I meant it."

Bill stared at Collette for a moment, unsure of what to say. He wanted to believe what she was telling him. At this point, she had nothing left and there was no reason to lie. Bill certainly was not in any position to help her. She had sealed her fate when she lied about Audrey being her source. "Thank you. It means a lot to me to hear you say that," Bill whispered before he turned and left the room.

Outside of the holding cell, Tom, the security officer, had returned to his post. "Did she give you any more information, sir?" he asked as Bill exited the room.

"No, not really," Bill said working hard to suppress his emotions. "I think she really is just a well paid courier. She delivers the information but she has no knowledge of the larger plan."

The officer turned the monitor back on so that he could observe the prisoner. She was leaned over the table with her head in her hands. Her shoulders were shaking as she sobbed. "Did you leave any marks, sir?" The officer asked nervously. He was responsible for the well being of the prisoner and if she was found to have been beaten, he would be in trouble. The woman had proven to be pretty stoic and he was surprised to see her crying. He wondered what his boss had done that would have made her cry so.

"That's not my style," Bill said mysteriously. "The only marks you would find on her are psychological and those can't be held against you."

"Thank you, sir," the officer said in return. "The federal marshal will be here to take her in about five minutes. He's clearing security now."

Bill nodded, saying nothing. He walked away, his heart heavy and full of emotions that he couldn't describe. He both loved and hated this woman. He felt sorry for her, while at the same time, believed that she deserved to spend the next twenty years in prison. He was sorry that he had talked to her but was also grateful that he had done so. None of it made any sense to him and there were so many more pressing issues at the time that he couldn't afford to expend any energy thinking about it.

So instead, Bill walked away from holding and back to the bullpen; away from his former life and former love and toward whatever had to be dealt with next. His past pushed back into the recesses of his brain, Bill was firmly entrenched in the present. Ava and Germany were past and Elise and Los Angeles were present. A re-examination of the past would be for later when he was at home, in his study, with a good bottle of scotch. The present was all that mattered now. Or rather, the present and the future were all that mattered. That was the one thing Bill was clear on and he pressed forward with the knowledge that the past was just that: past. It shaped him. It defined him. He had no need or desire to run from it, but rather he needed to embrace the good, forget the bad, and forgive those who hurt him. He knew at that moment that an important chapter in his life had closed and he was happy that it had. He was finally ready for a new chapter, one that would bring more happiness, more contentment and more love.

_Just a warning, the next chapter, The Future, will contain spoilers from the season 5 finale. If you haven't seen the finale and have avoided spoilers up to this point, DON'T READ CHAPTER 3 UNTIL YOU HAVE SEEN THE FINALE! Don't say I didn't warn you. _


	3. The Future Part I

_Hi all and thanks again for the reviews. The chapter was supposed to be the last, but as I wrote it, I realized that it was too much for one chapter. I've written long chapters before but this one didn't lend itself to one chapter; it has a point in it that just screams "end of chapter" to me. So I went with that muse and decided to write the chapter in 2 parts. So here is part 1 of The Future._

_Once again let me warn you, if you haven't seen the season 5 finale and don't want to know what happens, DON'T READ THIS! It WILL ruin everything!_

The Future – Part I

CTU – Los Angeles

Day 5, 6:55 am

It was over. It was finally over. Easily the longest 24 hours of Bill Buchanan's life, and it had finally ended. The relief washed over him like a tide. Oh, there would be long days to follow with dozens of reports to be filed and, sadly, families to meet with and funerals to attend, but this day with its assassinations and hostage situations and nerve gas attacks was over. The ending had surprised even Bill, who thought that he had seen it all at this point. Even he was surprised to find the President of the United States responsible for some of the most heinous acts to ever occur on US soil. He couldn't think of that right now. He just couldn't. He was too tired and too hungry and all that he could think about was getting the next shift up to speed so that he could go home.

Bill was ready to do that when he saw Karen Hayes with her coat on and her bag clutched in her hand. He was amazed at how his opinion of Karen had changed in the last few hours. Less than 12 hours ago she came in to CTU to take over, she even relieved him of his duties for some of the time and he hated her for it. Once she brought him back on board, he realized that Karen had been put in an impossible situation and she had probably handled it better than most people would have. Lynn McGill was put in a similar position and look how badly he had handled it. Karen at least admitted her mistakes and moved on. He respected her for that.

Bill spoke in a quiet voice as Karen approached, "Any word on Logan?

"No," Karen answered, "my guess is he'll try to cut a deal. He'll resign without a fight in exchange for clemency."

"He doesn't deserve clemency," Bill said in a quiet angry voice.

"No," Karen agreed, "but the country doesn't deserve a long impeachment process either with everything that's happened."

Bill nodded slightly. "In any event, we can expect Hal Gardner to be sworn in as president soon. Which means this'll probably be the last time I see this place."

Karen could hear the pain in his voice. Bill Buchanan obviously loved his job. "I don't think so," Karen told him. "Not if I have anything to do with it and I will. You'll be back here running CTU."

"Thank you, I appreciate that," Bill said sincerely.

Karen smiled vaguely. She couldn't help notice what beautiful blue eyes he had. She had noticed that from the moment she walked into CTU, but had quickly put it out of her mind. "When I came in here last night to save the day, I was a little bit condescending and tactless to say the least. I had no idea what you were up against. I'm sorry."

Bill watched her carefully as she spoke. Her sincerity was obvious. He could read it in her eyes. "No, no need to apologize. Mistakes were made. You were right to come in here with a firm hand," Bill said graciously.

"Well, I better go," Karen said with a soft smile as she turned to leave. She wasn't sure why, but she didn't want to go. Of course, part of that was because she didn't feel like going to Division and dealing with the egos over there. But more to the point, she hoped that she had reason to come back. She wasn't sure if it was CTU that she liked or if it was the director.

Bill hesitated for a second and then spoke. "Karen, I was thinking of getting some breakfast before going home." Bill wasn't 100 percent sure why he told her that. An invitation to go with him was implied. He hoped she'd say "yes" but part of him didn't know how he'd react if she did.

"I have to go over to Division for one last briefing. Bureaucracy… Rain check?" Karen asked hopefully as she smiled.

Bill returned her smile. "Sure." He watched her leave both relieved and disappointed that she wasn't joining him for breakfast.

It was another few minutes before Bill was completely finished and ready to leave. He had just dragged himself up the stairs to pack up when his cell phone rang.

"Buchanan," he said. He couldn't hide the exhaustion in his voice.

"Bill, it's Audrey. Jack disappeared. CTU has to find him," Audrey sobbed into the phone. "Please, Bill, you have to find him."

"Audrey, calm down. What's going on? Where are you?"

"I'm at the warehouse where Jack was holding Logan. Jack and I were just about to leave when a man we thought was with Secret Service came up to Jack and told him that his daughter was on the phone for him. The man said that the call had been transferred to a land line inside the warehouse. Jack went in to answer the phone. When he didn't come back after about five minutes I went to look for him. He wasn't there. The agents on site have searched the area and Jack isn't here."

"Did they find anything, any evidence?"

"There was blood in a room near the phone, but nothing else," Audrey told him as she tried to compose herself. She knew that she couldn't help Jack if she got hysterical, but it was hard to get control when you had been awake for over 24 hours and your day had been as emotional as hers had been.

"Can you describe the man who told Jack he had a phone call?"

"I didn't pay a lot of attention. He was Asian and dressed in a dark suit like Secret Service."

"Did you say he was Asian?" Bill asked.

"Yes, why?"

"The Chinese. They still want retribution for what happened at their embassy 18 months ago. That's who's got Jack. It's the Chinese," Bill paused for a second. "Audrey, I'll have one of our agents drive you back here. We have to find Jack before they can take him out of the country. I'll get our people right on it."

Bill disconnected from Audrey and dialed Karen's cell phone.

"Hayes," she answered in a voice as exhausted as his own.

"Karen," Bill said, "where are you now?"

"I'm in the parking lot. I'm just getting into my car. Why?"

"Call Division and tell them you can't make the briefing. I need you to come back in right away. Audrey Raines just called. Jack is missing."

"Jack is missing? What do you mean?"

"Jack's been kidnapped."

"Who would have kidnapped him?"

"It's a long story, Karen. Come back in and I'll explain, but we have to find Jack now."

"I'll be right there," Karen said with a sigh. She hung up, got back out of her car and reentered CTU. This wasn't going to go over well at Division, but she didn't care. She didn't answer to them and she knew that Bill wouldn't ask her to come back if he didn't really need her.

While he was waiting for Karen, Bill called Curtis and Chloe back into the building. They, like Karen, were both on their way to their cars when he got a hold of them. Bill was finishing up his short conversation with Curtis when Karen walked into his office.

"Bill, what's going on?" she queried.

"Jack is missing and I'm afraid that he's been kidnapped by the Chinese government."

"Why would the Chinese government want Jack Bauer?"

Bill explained what happened at the Chinese embassy eighteen months earlier. They certainly hadn't forgotten, he told Karen, and would want to get their revenge.

"I understand your logic, Bill, but that doesn't explain how they found out that Jack was alive," Karen pointed out to him.

"Logan gave him up. Jack knew too much. Even though Miles destroyed the recording that implicated Logan, Jack wasn't going to leave Logan alone. David Palmer saved his life and he was going to make it his mission to bring Logan down. Logan knew that and tipped off the Chinese so they could get rid of Jack for him."

Karen nodded. "I understand. Let me call Mike Novick. He might be able to help us."

"That's a good idea. In the meantime, I'll have Chloe pull up satellite and see if she can follow any vehicles leaving the warehouse during the time period in question. They had to get Jack off site somehow. My biggest concern is that they need to get him off of US soil as quickly as possible. I'll have Jack's picture sent to the airports and to the port of Los Angeles. I want any form of transportation that is headed toward Asia to be searched."

Karen agreed and they both set off to complete their tasks. The next couple of hours were critical for Jack and everyone knew it. If the Chinese were able to get Jack out of the US, there was little hope of ever getting him back. It was Karen who produced the first results.

"Bill," she shouted excitedly as she ran down the steps from his office and into the bullpen where Bill stood next to Chloe and Audrey, who had recently returned to CTU. "I think we've hit pay dirt. The Attorney General got Logan to admit that he tipped off the Chinese as to Jack's whereabouts."

"How did he get Logan to confess?" Bill asked.

"The Attorney General told Logan that he was withdrawing his offer of letting him resign quietly and not telling the American public the truth about his involvement in the Palmer assassination and yesterday's attacks unless Logan gave us enough information to find Jack."

"So what happens next?" Audrey asked.

"Right now President Gardner is on the phone with the Chinese premier. He's hoping to get the Premier to give us Jack's location."

"Why would he tell us that? That's tantamount to admitting that his people kidnapped an American citizen on our own soil. The Chinese will never agree to that," Bill said.

"Actually, President Gardner has a pretty persuasive argument," Karen informed him.

"What is it?" Bill asked.

"Remember the US recognizance plane that the Chinese brought down outside of Chinese airspace in 2001?"

"Of course I remember," Bill nodded recalling the incident in which a Chinese pilot was flying around a US army recognizance plane and accidentally clipped it causing the Chinese plane to crash into the ocean. The US plane was forced to make an emergency landing on a Chinese island. The crew was held for several days before the Chinese finally released them back to the US.

"Well, the recognizance crew had taken pictures that the Chinese government doesn't want made public. Up until now, the US has held them in the strictest of confidence. President Gardner told them that we'll release the pictures to the media if we don't get Jack returned to us in the next two hours. Of course, they're maintaining that they don't have him, but I suspect that the story will change when Gardner puts a little pressure on."

"I hope that works because we aren't getting very far with satellite tracking or airport and port searches. We were able to follow one vehicle leaving the warehouse where Jack was last seen. It looked like it was headed for the port, but we lost track of it, so we're not sure that's where it was going. So far, we've searched two Chinese ships leaving the port and both were clean," Chloe told Karen.

"Are there any other ships that need to be searched?" Karen asked.

"There's one more ship that left the port this morning around 7:30. The problem is that it's already in international waters and the Coast Guard has no authority to board it. The only way we can board is if it reenters US territory. It actually is sailing just outside of the seven mile limit traveling north up the coast. The Coast Guard has a ship following not too far behind. If the Chinese ship wanders within seven miles of the coastline, we'll take the opportunity and board."

"Bill, we have to find a way to board that ship," Audrey said tearfully. "I know Jack is on board. Jack doesn't have a chance once they're out in open waters. They'll kill him and throw him overboard."

"We're doing everything we can, Audrey," Bill assured her as he rested his hand on her arm. Karen noted the gesture and felt a pang of jealousy. She wasn't sure why. It just seemed to bother her that Bill was comforting a woman as young and beautiful as Audrey. She knew that she had no claim to Bill but she found herself strangely attracted to him.

Bill continued, oblivious to the internal battle going on inside of Karen. "President Gardner has the upper hand right now. The Chinese are probably going to be forced to let us board the ship. But even when we do, they aren't going to make it easy for us."

"We've got time, Audrey," Chloe said trying to be positive. "The Chinese aren't going to be in a big hurry to kill Jack."

"No, of course not," Audrey returned sharply. "Because they want to torture him for information first," Audrey said filling in the blanks that Chloe wasn't.

Bill threw Chloe a stern look. No one had to remind Audrey how much valuable information Jack carried with him and how desperately he would protect it. The Chinese could easily beat him within an inch of his life and he wouldn't talk. Chloe returned her "I was just trying to be helpful" look and Bill rolled his eyes. He had long since given up trying to teach Chloe any social graces. If she wasn't so good at her job, he would have had her transferred out of CTU years earlier.

Bill brought his mind back to the task at hand. "Where are Curtis and his team?"

"They're still at the port, sir," answered one of the field ops support personnel.

"I want a helicopter to take them out to the Coast Guard ship. Make sure we send a Chinese interpreter with them. If we get a chance to board that ship, the Chinese are going to do everything possible to keep Jack hidden. Curtis and his men are better equipped to do a thorough search of the ship. Get the Coast Guard ship's Captain on the phone. I need to coordinate this with him."

"Right away, sir," the same woman responded.

"When do you expect to hear back from the President?" Bill asked Karen.

"Mike Novick said he'd be back to me within the hour."

"Good," Bill said. "That should give us enough time to get Curtis' team in place." He looked around at all of his employees engrossed in their work. They were as tired as he and yet they continued to work. Their dedication was momentarily overwhelming to him and he swallowed hard to suppress the emotion. For the last 24 hours, they had worked to save an entire city but now they were giving the same amount of energy to finding one man, a man that many of them didn't even know. Most knew his reputation, but few knew him personally.

Bill picked up his coffee cup from Chloe's desk and started toward the coffee pot. He had drunk countless cups in the last day and he was now doing it out of force of habit. The caffeine could no longer stave off the exhaustion. Karen followed him to the break area. She watched unnoticed as he set his cup on the counter in front of the coffee maker. It was in the process of brewing a fresh pot, so Bill stepped near the window to look out while he waited.

"Are you okay?" she asked quietly.

Bill turned, startled. "I didn't know you were behind me." He hadn't expected Karen to be there, but he was glad to see her. There was something comforting about her. Her demeanor was so calm that it couldn't help but relax him regardless of how hard his insides were churning.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to surprise you. I just wanted to make sure that you were alright."

"I'm fine," he said trying to smile. "I'm just tired, like everybody else around here. I'm worried about Jack. He doesn't deserve this. He's given up way too much for this country to be sold out by a slime ball like Logan."

"Give it some time. I haven't lost hope yet. You shouldn't either. Curtis and Jack did some pretty amazing things in the last 24 hours. No reason to believe that anything is going to change now. I think we're going to get him back."

Audrey and Chloe had moved into the situation room and Bill and Karen joined them there. Bill had just completed his discussion with the Coast Guard Captain when Karen's phone rang. She looked hopefully at Bill as she read the caller ID. "It's Mike Novick," she said, daring to hope for the best. "Mike, I'm putting you on speaker phone. I'm here with Bill Buchanan, Audrey Raines and Chloe O'Brien. What do you have for us?" Karen asked into the phone.

"We've got reasonably good news," Mike replied. "As expected, the Chinese are categorically denying any involvement by the government with Jack's disappearance but admit that they may have a rogue security agent who has taken Jack into custody. Apparently the Chinese have already cooperated with CTU and allowed us to search two ships that are docked in LA."

"Yes, Mike," Bill interjected. "CTU has searched those ships and come up empty. We're more interested in the ship that's headed north along the coast but outside of US waters."

"That's what we told the Chinese. We asked for access to that ship. They balked at first citing the fact that it's in international waters but President Gardner was able to persuade the Chinese premier to agree. The Coast Guard will be permitted to board and they are allowing us a half hour to search the ship."

"A half hour! Mike, that's ludicrous. It'll take hours to search a ship that size," Karen said incredulously.

"Mike, Karen's right. We need more than a half hour," Bill protested.

"Bill, Karen, I understand how you feel, I want to find Jack, too. But this is the best we're going to get unless the Coast Guard can come up with some other reason to continue the search. If they locate drugs or contraband or any evidence that Jack is or has been on board, all bets are off. We'll be able to continue our search. But for now, a half hour search is the best we're going to get. Take it or leave it."

"For now, we'll take it, Mike and hope that we can find a reason to continue," Bill agreed half-heartedly. "Chloe, make sure that Curtis and his team know that they are under a severe time constraint. Tell him that if he can find any reason to hold that ship that he is to do so."

Chloe was already on the line with Curtis. "Did you hear that Curtis?"

"Yeah, I copy. According to the Coast Guard officers, Chinese vessels frequently have contraband on board, so holding this ship may be easier than you think."

"Good, let's hope so," Bill replied.

The next half hour was as tense as any in the last day. Curtis and his team all wore microphones and Bill, Karen, Audrey and Chloe listened intently from the situation room. The Chinese had been very careful and made sure that there was little cause for the American's to search the ship for longer than the half hour agreement. They listened from CTU as Curtis spoke to the Chinese captain through an interpreter.

"Your half hour is up, Agent Manning," the captain said.

Curtis looked at his watch. The captain was right and there was no reason to continue holding the ship. Curtis spoke into his radio. "Our half hour is complete. I need everyone back on deck now," he said. There was no mistaking the defeat in his tone. They had been up against incredible odds but Curtis was hoping to beat them. After all that Jack had done for the country, CTU had failed him.

"Agent Manning," a voice crackled through Curtis' radio.

"Yeah," Curtis returned.

"I'm down near the engine room and I've found a substance on a door frame that appears to be blood. I'd like to investigate further."

_That's our ticket!_ Curtis thought. "Hold your position. I'll be right there." Then he looked at the interpreter. "Tell the captain that we've found blood on a door frame by the engine room. Based on the terms of our agreement, we're extending this search."

The interpreter spoke to the captain, who disagreed vehemently. Curtis ignored his protests and raised his radio to his lips. "All teams converge on the engine room. I repeat, all teams converge on the engine room."

Searching the engine room proved far harder than anyone expected. In addition to the main engine room, the area was filled with storage rooms and work rooms and all were poorly lit. It was almost another hour before Curtis worked his way into a tight crawl space and found Jack bound and gagged and lying in a pool of his own blood. He drew a quick breath as he reached out to take a pulse and released it only when he felt a weak but steady thump beneath his fingers. Jack was alive, badly hurt, no doubt, but alive.

"I found him," Curtis said into his radio. "He's hurt, but he's alive. We're going to need to bring in a med-evac helicopter to take him to the nearest hospital.

"What kind of injuries are we dealing with?" Bill asked.

"He's unconscious, so he may have some kind of head injury. He's clearly been badly beaten. I don't know, Bill. He could have internal injuries and broken bones, too."

"Alright, we'll alert the nearest trauma center. There's a Coast Guard med-evac on stand by. I'll get you an ETA as soon as I can."

"Bill, what do we do with the ship? Do I have the Coast Guard arrest the captain?"

"Negative, Curtis." It was Karen who answered. "We get Jack, but the ship and the crew go free."

"What?" Curtis shouted. "Yes, we've got Jack, but he's in bad shape. He could die and you're telling me that I have to let these bastards go?"

"I'm sorry, Curtis. I feel the same way you do, but I have my orders. The ship and the crew is to be released unharmed as soon as Jack is secured. Do you understand?"

"I copy," he said in a disgusted voice. "We're going to move Jack up onto the deck. Let me know the ETA on that chopper."

At CTU, the mood had improved considerably. They had found Jack and he was alive. Everyone seemed willing to live with the injustice of having the Chinese get off without any charges being filed as long as Jack was alive. Their jubilance was, unfortunately, tempered by the fact that Jack was injured and at this point it wasn't clear how badly he was hurt. Bill could tell that Audrey had relaxed a bit, but that she was still very worried.

"Audrey," Bill started, "as soon as we know where Jack is being transported to, I'll arrange to have you taken there as well."

"Thanks, Bill, I appreciate that," she said gratefully.

"You haven't even had a chance to visit your father yet, have you?" Bill asked suddenly remembering that Jim Heller was in the intensive care unit of one of the local hospitals.

"Not yet. I've talked to his doctor and to the nurses, though, and he's doing fine. He's been sleeping a lot so I'm not sure that he even realizes that I'm not there."

"Would you like me to have one of our people take you to the hospital? Then when we get word on Jack we'll have you taken to see him."

"Thanks, Bill, but I know my father's doing well. I think I'd like to stay here until I get more word on Jack."

"That's fine, Audrey. We can work this out any way you like."

Karen watched the interaction between Bill and Audrey. She was impressed by his kindness. He was strong and capable but he was also incredibly warm and caring. At the same time she tried to shake off the feeling. She again found herself attracted to Bill but didn't want to be. She was in the process of ending a marriage in which she was badly betrayed. It had been such a traumatic experience that she hadn't stopped wearing her wedding ring because she knew if she did that people would ask questions and she didn't want to answer them. It was easier to put the ring on every day and let people think that her life was status quo. But in point of fact, the divorce would be final in a matter of days. She had been so hurt that she had already decided that no one else would ever get the chance to do that to her again. She was intelligent and self sufficient and, with her children all grown and out on their own, she was going to start a new life without a man in it.

"Mr. Buchanan," Chloe said, interrupting Karen's thoughts. "The ETA on the chopped is 20 minutes. I've already called Curtis. And I've arranged for Jack to be taken to UCLA medical center so he'll be at the same hospital as Secretary Heller."

"Good work, Chloe. Thank you," Bill added.

"I've also arranged for one of our agents to take you over there, Audrey. He's waiting out front whenever you're ready," Chloe told her.

"Thank you, Chloe," Audrey said gratefully as she gave her an awkward hug. Chloe was amazing. One minute she had the sensitivity of a goat and the next was going out of her way to do something nice for someone. "I'll keep you posted on Jack's condition."

"Thanks," Chloe replied. She and Jack had a special bond. It wasn't romantic and neither of them could ever explain it, but it was special nonetheless. Audrey knew that Chloe was, in her own way, as worried about Jack as she.

Audrey said a quick good bye to Karen and Bill and then headed to the exit to catch her ride to the hospital. She would get there before Jack, but that would allow her time to see her father before Jack arrived.

"I think the next shift can take over from here," Bill announced as he ran his hand through his prematurely gray hair. "Let's all go home and get some rest."

"You won't get any argument from me," Chloe said.

"That'd be a first," Bill said sarcastically with a smile on his face. "You usually argue with everyone about everything."

Chloe smiled back. "Point made, Mr. Buchanan. See you tomorrow," she said as she left the situation room.

Bill turned to Karen as Chloe left. "Thank you for your help. I don't think we would have had any chance of rescuing Jack if you hadn't used your connections with Mike Novick."

"I'm glad I could help. I just hope that Jack's alright. He's pretty unconventional, but his record speaks for itself. His accomplishments are impressive."

There was an awkward silence between them as if both wanted to say more but neither knew what to say. Bill finally broke the silence.

"Well, I'm going to spend a few minutes briefing the shift commander, and then I'm going home. You should do the same."

"Sounds like a good idea," Karen agreed. "I left my coat and bag in your office. I'll just get those and head out."

Bill left the room to find the shift commander while Karen slowly climbed the stairs to Bill's office. She couldn't believe how tired she was and yet she dreaded the idea of going home. That was the reason that she worked so many hours these days. She hated going home to the empty condominium. After living in a big house for all of those years with three raucous kids and a husband, you would think that she would enjoy some down time, but in fact she hated it. She hated the quiet. She hated knowing that she was alone in LA, that her children were scattered all over the country and that her marriage was over. As Karen picked up her coat and bag she wondered how a 47 year old mother of three grown children with almost 25 years of marriage behind her was supposed to start over.

Karen started to leave Bill's office to face the rest of the day alone just as he was coming up the stairs. "You're still here? Let me get my things and I'll walk you to your car," Bill told her.

Karen waited for a minute while Bill put on his topcoat and picked up his briefcase. He locked his office door and followed Karen down the steps, toward the exit. They both greeted the security guard at the exit and stepped out into the cool air that bathed the parking garage. Bill's car was parked near the door in the spot marked "reserved for CTU director". Karen's car was parked a few spaces further down.

"Thanks again for all of your help, Karen," Bill said as he unlocked his car with the remote control and reached for the door handle. "I couldn't have done it without you."

"Bill," Karen called as he was about to sit down behind the steering wheel. He turned in her direction. "Remember that rain check you offered a few hours ago?"

"Yeah, did you want to cash it in?"

"If I could," Karen returned almost shyly. As soon as it came out of her mouth she couldn't believe that she had said it.

"Sounds great," Bill told her. "Follow me. There's a really good diner a few blocks away that serves breakfast all day."

"I'll be right behind you," Karen smiled.

_I have to admit, I toyed with ending the story here and leaving the rest up to your imagination, but it left too much hanging. It also didn't allow me to develop Elise's character, something that I still hope to do. And we can't forget about our gallant hero, Jack. We need to find out what happens to him. So if you want to make up your own ending feel free to stop reading at this point, but I'd love to have you continue with me. I'd also love to hear your opinion on the subject, so keep those reviews coming!_


	4. The Future Part II

_Hi and thanks again for sticking with me. Thanks so much to those of you who have reviewed. Here is the second part of "The Future". I thought it would be the last chapter, but it looks like I was wrong again. So there should be at least one more chapter, possibly two depending on how the next one unfolds. _

The Future – Part II

12:55pm

Less than ten minutes after leaving CTU, Bill and Karen each pulled into parking spaces in front of a small diner. It was unusual to find parking right in front of the place at lunch time, but the events of the previous day kept many people at home and off the streets. Those that went to work were eating lunch at work rather than venturing out and into restaurants. A restaurant that was usually bustling with a lunch crowd at this time of day was, instead, largely deserted.

Bill and Karen found a corner booth that secluded them from the few other patrons. It was nice just to sit down some place quiet to decompress. They each ordered coffee and breakfast and found themselves chatting comfortably.

"How long have you been with the CIA?" Karen asked.

"It feels like my whole life," Bill said with a smile. "I started with the Agency right out of college. I've been in counter terrorism for about 12 years. How about you? How long have you been with Homeland?"

"I was recruited from the FBI at its inception right after the September 11th terrorist attacks. I'd been with the FBI for about 14 years at that point. I was bored and I wasn't moving up. Homeland made me an offer so I took it. I was stationed in Washington until a year ago when they asked me to take a temporary assignment in LA. Two of my kids are in college and the oldest one graduated from college and is out on his own. My husband was away a lot, so it seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Karen, I don't mean to get too personal, but I also don't want you to think that I make a habit of hitting on married women. You wear a wedding ring and you just mentioned a husband, but your Homeland profile says that you're divorced."

Karen smiled and looked down. She was obviously embarrassed. "You've done some research. That profile isn't open to just anyone. You had to dig to find it."

"When I was told that two people from Homeland were coming to CTU to assist in the operation, I had Chloe do a little investigating. She can get into most backdoors without being noticed."

"Well, the truth is that the profile is a little premature. Actually, my divorce won't be final for at least another week," she said finally allowing herself to smile a little and to meet Bill's gaze. "This is going to sound silly, but I still wear my ring because when I came to LA, I was still married. Brian and I didn't legally separate until after I came out here. It was supposed to be a temporary assignment and I didn't really want to have to explain to people that I was only going to work with for a few months that I had separated from my husband. Frankly, it was months before I could even say the words out loud without crying. When Homeland offered to make the position permanent, I decided to take it and stay here. At that point I kept put the ring on every morning out of force of habit. It also kept me from getting any unwanted advances."

"I'm sorry. I've obviously stepped into some unpleasant territory. You don't have to talk about this," Bill told her.

"No, no, actually for the first time I can remember, it feels good to talk about it. It feels good to come clean and not live a lie."

"I take it that the divorce wasn't your idea," Bill speculated.

"Not at all. Brian and I had been married almost 25 years. We met when we were freshmen in college and we started dating. He was my first and only love. My world revolved around him. We got married as soon as we graduated and we started our family. We have three children, Jacob is 23 and Nathan is 18 months younger. Danielle is the baby; she's 19. I thought we were happy. Brian was in the Air Force for a few years. He flew fighter jets. When he got out, he got a job as an airline pilot. We settled near Washington and I got a job with the FBI. We were your typical American family. I'm not going to say that we didn't have some rough times, but overall, we were happy. The kids eventually grew up and went off to college and, like I said, I got the offer for the temporary assignment in LA. Brian flew a regular route to and from Paris so he was gone about three days a week anyway, so a few months in LA didn't seem like much of a hardship. In fact, I thought that it might be good for us. I suspected that he was having an affair with his copilot, a woman named Joyce Adams. She was younger than me and very pretty. She seemed to call our house more often than necessary and she seemed to be too attentive to Brian. I hoped that maybe the whole thing would burn itself out in a few months and that Brian and I could put our marriage back together." Karen stopped for a moment to take a bite of her pancakes. "I was in LA for about a month when I got an email from Brian that he wanted a divorce. The SOB couldn't even call me or fly out here and tell me to my face."

"So, you were right about the affair but wrong about it burning itself out."

"Yes and no. Brian was having an affair but not with his copilot. He was having an affair with his navigator, a man by the name of Blake Harvey." She stopped for a moment to allow the statement to sink in. "I wasn't dumped for another woman."

"Karen, I'm so sorry," Bill said softly. "I had no idea or I never would have brought this up."

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault. Like I said, it feels good to talk about it. Brian and Blake had apparently been involved in a homosexual relationship for about twenty years. Blake had been Brian's navigator since he started with the airline. They had always been friends. Blake had been at our house dozens of times and every time he came over, he had a different girl on his arm. Everybody thought he was the ultimate swinging bachelor. The only good thing about it is that they were in a stable relationship. There weren't any other men, so there was no risk of disease. I thanked Brian for that," Karen said with a sarcastic roll of her eyes. "Now the two of them share an apartment in Paris and I'm alone in LA. That's the story. I'm sorry if I sound a little bitter. I try not to be, but it's hard. I never even considered cheating on Brian in 25 years and I come to find out that our whole marriage was a lie. He used me for a convenient cover and then he had his fun, his real love, on the side. In the meantime, I was at home raising our kids and working full time and missing him when he was away. I have to tell you, it hurts."

"I'm sure it does. You have every right to be hurt," Bill said sympathetically.

"So, now I'm trying to figure out how to start all over again. And the first thing I need to do is to admit to myself and to the rest of the world that I'm not married any more." With that, Karen pulled her wedding ring from her finger and put it in her pocket. "There, now you don't have to feel like you're hitting on a married woman," she said with a smile.

Bill smiled back. "It's a start," he said as he flagged down the waitress to refill his coffee cup.

The two continued to talk through breakfast. Both were amazed that after the way they met a little more than 12 hours earlier that they were sitting together, chatting amicably. Bill fully expected to be unemployed by now and Karen had expected to be running CTU.

With breakfast finished and the check paid, Bill looked at his watch. It was almost 2:30; they had been sitting there for over an hour and a half but the time had flown by. "Wow, I didn't realize how late it was. I really have to get going." Bill wanted to stop by Elise's school and pick her up since he hadn't seen her in over a day. Classes ended at just after three so he still had enough time to make it to the school.

Bill held the door for Karen as they stepped outside. "Bill, this is all new to me and I hope I'm not being too forward, but I was wondering if we could see each other again."

"I'd love to," Bill answered smiling.

"I really like to cook and I don't get much of a chance since I live alone now. Would you like to come over for dinner next Saturday?"

Bill thought for a moment. He wanted to scream "yes!" but he couldn't. That was the night of the mother-daughter dance at Elise's school and if she wasn't going, he wanted plan something special so that she didn't spend the whole evening bored while her friends were having fun.

"I'd love to, but I'm going to have to get back to you on that. I may have other plans that evening."

Karen looked crestfallen. "That's okay, I understand," she said nodding and trying to smile.

Bill closed his eyes for a second. He needed to tell Karen the truth. She needed to know about Elise before this went any further. "Karen, there's something you need to know about me."

Karen stopped walking and looked at him. "Please tell me you're not gay," she said seriously.

Bill smiled again and squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. "No, I'm not gay. I'm very definitely not gay." He watched as a look of relief came over Karen's face.

"Thank God!" she exclaimed quietly. "What do you need to tell me?"

"I have a 12 year old daughter," Bill said matter-of-factly.

"Really? I wouldn't have guessed. There aren't any pictures in your office," Karen said looking surprised.

"I don't keep pictures of Elise in my office because… At the risk of sounding naïve, I don't want her to be a part of that life. My professional life is full of terrorists and conspiracies. Elise is my sanctuary. She's teddy bears and soccer games and beautiful smiles. I don't want those two lives to ever meet," he said almost wistfully.

"Your CIA profile lists you as single,"

"Oh, so you did some research, too." Bill said with amusement.

"I was supposed to come into CTU and take over. I needed to know who I was up against," Karen explained smiling back.

My profile is correct. I'm single. I've never been married. That was Elise's mother's choice, not mine. I wanted to marry her."

"Where does your daughter live?"

"She lives with me. I have sole custody of her."

"Where's her mother?"

Bill thought for a moment. He wasn't sure how much to tell Karen but decided that the whole story could wait for a later date. "That's a long story. The short version is that her mother left right after she was born. She didn't even want to have Elise. I convinced her not to have an abortion. Even after Elise was born, her mother wouldn't have anything to do with her. I'm not sure that she even looked at her. I took her home from the hospital and she's been with me ever since."

"You've raised her by yourself?"

"I had some help from my parents when she was small and my sister helps out after school and when I have to work late or overnight, but otherwise, yes, I've raised her myself."

"That's impressive, Bill. I don't know many men who would do that."

"It seemed perfectly natural to me. Her mother didn't want her but I did. I briefly considered putting her up for adoption a few weeks after she was born. I'm sure you understand how overwhelming dealing with a newborn can be. I was working full time and living in a foreign country and I started to wonder what would be best for her. I thought maybe it would be best for her to have two parents who both loved her and would both be there for her. But after I thought about it for a day or so, I knew I couldn't do it. I couldn't stand to know that someone else was raising her when I loved her so much. It was the best decision I ever made. And if that changes things, I mean, things between you and me, I understand. I'd like to see you again, Karen, but you have to understand that I come with strings attached."

"Are you asking if the fact that you have a 12 year old scares me off?

"I guess I am," Bill told her honestly.

"Not at all. I want to get to know you better, Bill. If my past doesn't scare you off, your daughter certainly doesn't scare me off."

Bill's relief was obvious. "Then let's get together again. That night might not be good, but let me check with Elise. If not, we'll just come up with another date. I'll call you," he told her as he opened her car door for her.

Bill watched Karen drive away and then got into his own car. His mind was full as he traveled the 20 minutes to Elise's school. So much had happened in the last day and a half and very little of it was good, but it had certainly ended on a bright note. He circled the block twice looking for a parking space and eventually was lucky enough to find one right in front of the high school, across the street from Elise's middle school.

The high school dismissed 15 minutes earlier than the middle school so the sidewalk and street were bustling with teenaged girls on their way home. Bill pulled out his cell phone to call his sister so that she would know that he was picking up Elise.

"Janie," he said as she answered.

"Hey G-Man," she said fondly. Jane frequently used the slang term for government agent to tease Bill about his occupation. Bill adored his sister, but Jane was politically quite liberal, a fact that drove the staunchly conservative CTU director crazy. "Did you save the world again? Did you have to take out any third world dictators?"

Bill resisted the urge to tell her that had it not been for his agency, nerve gas would have killed her the evening before. "Not today, Jane. We're saving that for next week," he retorted smoothly. He had long ago discovered that it was easier to play along and pretend that her politics didn't bother him than to argue with her. "I'm on my way home and I thought I'd pick up Elise."

"That works out well, I have a lot of papers to grade, so I'll just stay here for a while. Besides, you need to spend some time with Ellie. You need to talk to her."

"About what? What's wrong?"

"She moped around all last night. She's really upset about this mother-daughter dance. I tried to talk to her but she wouldn't open up."

"I don't know what to say to her, Jane. I can't make her mother suddenly appear. Even if I could, I'm not sure that I'd want to." In his mind Bill saw Ava sitting in the holding cell and winced.

"I know. And maybe part of it was that you weren't there last night and a lot of scary things were happening. Besides that, she's a pre-teenage girl. Their moods swing like a yo-yo. She might be fine today."

Bill sighed, "Nobody told me when I brought her home from the hospital in that pink blanket that it was going to get this complicated."

"Stop kicking yourself, Bill. You do a great job with her, not withstanding the fact that you're turning her into an ultra-conservative," Jane added. Bill ignored the dig. "You're a wonderful father and Elise knows that. This is a rough age. She just wants to fit in and be like the other girls. She doesn't mean to hurt you."

"I know," he replied. He looked up and saw a trickle of students leaving the middle school. "I better go. The middle school just let out. Elise should be out in a minute. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, G-Man. Keep your chin up, you're doing a great job," Jane said encouragingly.

Bill stepped out of his car and walked around to the passenger side. He leaned against the door and scanned the crowd of girls leaving the school. Elise came into view. She was smiling and talking to her best friends. She didn't look like a kid who had been moping around. Jane was right about mood swings and young girls.

Bill watched her as she said goodbye to friends whose mothers were picking them up. Then she checked the street for traffic and started to cross toward the high school. He knew her routine. She would head up to Jane's classroom and work on some homework while her aunt finished up for the day.

"Elise," Bill called as she started across the street.

She looked up at the sound of her name. Her smile brightened as she caught sight of her father. "Dad! What are you doing here?"

"I was on my way home and I thought I'd come and pick you up." Bill was so grateful that she was alive that he had to resist the urge to hug and kiss her. He knew that public displays of affection by a parent were a giant no-no for a 12 year old.

"Why are you coming home so early?"

Bill laughed. "It's not early; it's late," he told Elise as he opened the door for her. "I haven't been home since yesterday morning." That wasn't quite true. He had been home for a couple of hours during the night when he was relieved of his command, but it wasn't worth explaining.

"You worked all night! You must be exhausted."

"Yeah, I could use some sleep. Maybe I'll catch a couple of hours before dinner while you do homework." Bill checked the traffic, waited for an SUV to pass him and then pulled away from the curb. "How was school today?"

"It was okay. I had a math test."

"That's right. How did that go?"

"Alright. I know of a couple problems that I missed, but I think I got at least a B."

"Good. All that studying paid off," Bill commented. He watched her demeanor. She didn't seem quiet or sullen in any way. As far as he could tell the storm must have blown over. He decided to test the water. "Ellie, I was thinking, I know you've been wanting to go down to San Diego and do some sightseeing. Why don't we go down the weekend of the mother-daughter dance? We can leave after school on Friday and come back on Sunday. We'll just get away for a couple of days."

"I guess we could do that," Elise said noncommittally. "Do we have to?"

Bill raised his eyebrows slightly in surprise. "No, we don't have to. I just thought you might like to have something to do that weekend."

"Katie Guthrie decided to have a sleepover for the girls who didn't want to go to the dance, so if it's okay with you, I'd like to go to the party," Elise informed him. Katie was the captain of Elise's soccer team and had been her best friend since she and Bill moved to LA.

"That's interesting. When did this come up?"

"Just today. Well, Katie tried to call me last night, but I wasn't at home. I really do need a cell phone, Dad," she added. It was a battle that had been going on for a year now and Bill realized that Elise was starting to get the upper hand. "Anyway, you know Katie. She hates dances."

"She does? I didn't know that."

"Oh come on, Dad. Katie's a jock. She's not into dances," Elise informed him as if it should be common knowledge.

"You always go to dances with Katie. Since when isn't she 'into' dances?"

"She only goes 'cause I do. Since I'm not going to this dance, she said she's not going either. So her mom said that she can have a sleepover for any of her friends who aren't going to the dance."

"Who else isn't going?"

"Annie and Grace said that they aren't going to the dance if Katie and I aren't going. Colleen's mom is going to be in San Francisco training for her new job, so she's not going either."

"So, you'd be happy just to go to Katie's party?"

"Yeah! That'll be more fun anyway. Can I go?" Elise asked eagerly.

"Of course you can go," Bill replied amazed once again at how something that seemed so important just a day earlier wasn't even a blip on Elise's radar screen now. The mother-daughter dance now all but forgotten, Bill and Elise settled in for the rest of the drive home.

"Guess what, Dad, did you know that Aunt Jane has a new boyfriend?" Elise asked, her voice highly animated as she divulged this new secret to her father.

"Really? How do you know that?"

"He called last night while we were making dinner. I was closer to the phone, so I answered. It was Mr. Nelson, the Latin teacher. Aunt Jane got all giggly and took the phone back to her bedroom. They're meeting Saturday for the anti-nuke rally."

"Sounds like they're perfect for each other," Bill smiled.

"That's what I thought," Elise agreed.

"I hope it works out. She's been divorced for almost four years. It'd be nice for Jane to have someone."

"Yeah, I guess so," Elise replied without enthusiasm.

Once at home, Elise grabbed a snack from the refrigerator and retreated to her room to do homework. Bill changed into comfortable clothing and laid down on the sofa in his study. His head barely hit the pillow before he fell asleep.

Bill had been sleeping about an hour and a half when his cell phone started ringing. Elise heard it from her room and ran toward the study to get it before it could wake her father. She never answered his cell phone since it was usually work related, but at the moment, she really wanted him to get a chance to get some sleep. Elise was just outside of the study when she heard her father answer.

"Buchanan." His voice was tired, but authoritative nonetheless. Elise loved that voice. She called it his work voice and as far as she was concerned, when he used it, everyone knew who was in charge. He only used it around her when she was in trouble and then she wasn't so fond of it.

Elise continued to listen to her father's side of the conversation.

"Audrey," he said. "How's Jack doing?" Bill was quiet while he listened to the caller, only occasionally uttering an "uh-huh" or "good". Elise could hear his voice softening, but he was still all business.

"Then they expect him to pull through?" Elise heard him ask. She could hear the relief in his voice and assumed that one of his agents had been injured in the line of duty. It had happened before and she knew how concerned her father got about the agent and his family.

"Thank God! Audrey, that's wonderful. I'm happy to hear it. How long will he be in intensive care?" Again there was silence. "Let me know when he's allowed to have visitors. I want to come and see him. How's your father doing?"

The caller was obviously giving him some more information.

"Good, I'm glad to hear that. So you expect him to be able to return to Washington in a week or so?" Elise assumed that the caller answered in the affirmative. "I'm happy that everything is working out so well for you. Have you called Chloe yet? I know she'll want an update on Jack's condition."

Bill again waited for an answer. "I'm sure Chloe and Curtis were both happy to hear the news. Keep us updated. I'm sure we'll talk tomorrow." Elise didn't know much about her father's work, but she recognized the names Curtis and Chloe.

"Sure," Elise heard him say. "I'm sure she wants to know how Jack's doing. I'll be happy to call her for you. I've got her number. I'll pass on the information, Audrey. Now go get some rest."

Bill hung up the phone. Elise could hear the digital tones that it made when he was getting into his list on phone numbers. He was making another call.

"Karen, it's Bill," her father said. Elise didn't remember his father ever mentioning a "Karen" before.

"I'm sorry to bother you. Did I wake you?" Elise noticed a distinct difference in her father's voice. It no longer had that stern, controlled quality to it. Now it was warm and gentle. It was much the same tone that he used with her. Elise was intrigued by this sudden change. "I'm sorry. I hated to wake you, but I just got off the phone with Audrey Raines. It looks like Jack's going to be okay." He listened for a moment before continuing. "Audrey said that it was touch and go for a while. He spent about six hours in surgery. He had some internal injuries as well as some broken bones. The doctor felt that if he hadn't been rescued when he was that he would have bled to death."

They continued talking about the injured agent for a few minutes. Elise thought her father was about to wrap up the call and she had taken a couple of steps away from the study when she heard him continue.

"I was wondering if that offer for next Saturday night still stands," Bill said. Elise stopped dead in her tracks. She was sure that she shouldn't be listening to this conversation, but it had suddenly gotten interesting.

"Good. My daughter's going to a friend's house for a party, so I'll be free for the evening." Now Elise was really interested.

"So, what time should I come over?" Elise stood stock still waiting to hear more.

"Seven thirty would be fine. Can I bring some wine?" There was silence for a moment before Bill continued. "It sounds great. I'm looking forward to it. I'll see you then."

Elise continued to listen to see if her father would make any more calls, but he didn't. She heard him set the phone on the coffee table and sigh quietly as he laid back down. Elise silently made her way back to her bedroom to think about the conversation. Part of her felt guilty for listening in on a private conversation, but the other part of her wanted to know more. Her father was obviously getting together with a woman whose name Elise had never heard before. She wondered who the woman was. She and her father had a close relationship and they usually didn't keep secrets from one another.

Elise sat back down to try and complete her homework. She was sitting on her bed trying to read and summarize chapter eight of "Tom Sawyer" for English class but it wasn't working very well. Her mind kept drifting back to the conversation she had over heard. A knock at the door brought her back to reality.

"Come in," she called.

Her father poked his head in the room. "What did you want for dinner, Ellie?"

She shrugged sullenly. "It doesn't matter," she said without looking at him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Bill walked into the room and sat next to her on the bed. "I know you too well to think that it's nothing. Are you having problems with your homework?"

"No."

"Is this about the dance?"

"No. Maybe I'm just tired. I never sleep very well at Aunt Jane's."

Bill didn't believe that for a minute. "When you're ready to talk, Ellie, I'm ready to listen. In the meantime, I'll be in the kitchen making some scrambled eggs. Did you want to help?"

"I've got a lot of homework. I better just stay here and work on it until dinner."

Bill stood for a moment waiting to see if Elise would say anything more before he left the room and closed the door. He shook his head not sure what had just happened. In the last few days his wonderful, even-tempered daughter had turned into Dr. Jekyll and Miss Hyde and he wasn't sure how to deal with it. Instead he walked back to the kitchen where he immersed himself in preparing dinner.

Most nights he and Elise made dinner together. He was a good cook and she was learning. He considered it their quality time together and found that it had become special to him. But tonight he was making dinner alone and wondering why it had suddenly become so hard to be a father.

Dinner was on the table a half hour later and Bill called upstairs to Elise. She came down and sat quietly at the table picking at her food. Bill briefly tried to make conversation but it clearly wasn't working. He decided to eat in silence and wait to see if Elise opened up.

The tactic worked like a charm.

"Who was on the phone earlier?" Elise asked between bites.

"Someone I work with," Bill answered not bothering to add details.

"Was one of you agents hurt?"

"I had more than one hurt yesterday, but there was one in particular that I was worried about. It looks like he's going to be fine. How did you know about that?"

"I heard your phone ring and I came down to answer it before it woke you up. You answered it before I got there."

Lights started to go on in Bill's brain. He realized that she had heard the conversation with Karen. He decided to let her continue at her own pace.

"Who did you call after that?"

"Is this twenty questions, Elise? These were work related calls."

"That's funny, the second call sounded more like you were making a date," Elise said as she set her fork down and looked at him.

"And if I was? Do you have a problem with that?" Bill asked without raising his voice.

"No, but I don't like it that you're lying to me."

"And I don't like it that you were eavesdropping on my conversations. I'm not lying to you Elise. I called someone from Homeland Security to update her on the condition of the agent. She had asked me to dinner next weekend and I told her that I had to check my calendar. Once I knew you had plans for that evening I decided to accept. Is that okay with you?"

"Is this your first date with her or have you been going out for a while?"

"Ellie, if I were dating someone I wouldn't have kept it from you. I just met her yesterday and we had lunch together today. I'd like to get to know her better and she feels the same way. I planned to tell you about the date. I wasn't lying to you or keeping anything from you. I don't keep secrets from you; I never have."

Elise looked down at her plate, suddenly embarrassed. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I shouldn't have been listening, but I heard you making the date and… I don't know. I just started thinking about Meredith Hanson. She went to spend the weekend with her dad once and he told her he was getting remarried. She didn't even know he had a girlfriend. And she had never met the lady. Now they have a new baby and they don't pay any attention to Meredith. She hardly ever goes to see him any more even though she's supposed to spend every other weekend with him. I guess I started worrying that this Karen was going to take you away from me."

Bill squinted at her as if it would help him understand. "Honey, I would never do that to you. This is just dinner. I'm not proposing marriage. I'm confused here Elise. A couple of years ago you were dying for me to get married. It was all you could talk about. Why are you concerned now that I'm having dinner with someone?"

"A couple of years ago I wanted a mother. Everybody else had a mother and I wanted one, too. Now it doesn't matter. I get upset with my mother sometimes for leaving us, but I don't really want a mother. We're a team, Dad. It's you and me. It's been that way for 12 years. I don't want to have to share you. Yesterday I find out that Aunt Jane has a new boyfriend and now it's you. I'm losing everyone I love."

Bill pushed his chair back and stood up. He took Elise's hand. "Come here," he said drawing her gently into his arms and kissing the top of her head.

"Elise, you aren't losing me and you aren't losing Aunt Jane. We both love you. I love you more than I thought it was possible to love anyone. Nothing and no one will ever change that. I have no idea where this date with Karen might lead. It might go nowhere. It might lead to something special between us, but one thing is for sure, in order for me to have a relationship with any woman, she has to understand that my relationship with you can't change. That is one part of my life that is non-negotiable. I won't compromise on that. You're right, we're a team, but sometimes teams have more than two members."

"It would be a really big change after all these years of you and me," Elise told him.

"I know that, but this isn't a bridge we need to cross right now. Let's see if this works out. I don't know if you're old enough to understand this yet, but someday you're going to grow up and find a wonderful man to share your life with. Then you're going to leave me. It would be nice if I had someone to share my life with, too. Does that make sense?"

Elise nodded and wiped away a couple of tears that had formed in her eyes. "I love you, Dad."

"I love you, too," Bill whispered back as he pulled Elise tighter into his arms. "Shall we finish dinner?" he asked with a smile.

"I guess so," Elise said as she sat back down. "Eat up," she told her father with a smile, "because I have the feeling I'm stuck with clean up tonight and I don't feel like putting much away."

Bill laughed and tousled her thick brown hair. "You're right; you didn't help cook so you are stuck with clean up!"

Bill smiled as he watched Elise. She smiled back at him. All was forgiven. They could move on now, cautiously to be sure, but with a better understanding than they had just minutes earlier. Regardless of what happened with Karen, he and Elise would be fine. She put it best: they were a team.

_I've put a lot of time into this chapter and am not really satisfied with it. I liked the beginning, but thought that the ending was a little too fluffy and trite. I'll be interested to hear everyone else's opinion. When I first outlined this story, I loved it. And I still love the premise and the first three chapters, but I'm really having trouble with the ending. I think writer's block has set in, but I am determined to finish this story before I fully succumb to it!_


	5. The Future Part III

_Hi again! I thought this would be the last chapter, but again, it just got too long and unwieldy, so there will be at least one more chapter. I didn't get a lot of reviews for the last chapter so I'm not sure if people are tiring of the story. Maybe I should have ended it earlier, but since I didn't, I want to see it through to the end. Hope there are still a few of you reading! And, remember, I live for reviews, so if you read, please review._

The Future – Part III

Karen sat cross legged on the living room floor in her condominium surrounded with cookbooks. She was looking for new recipes to create the perfect menu for her dinner with Bill and she was amazed at how much fun she was having. She had just flipped to a recipe for pecan-crusted salmon that looked particularly good when her phone rang. Glancing at the caller ID, Karen saw that the call was from her youngest child, Danielle.

"Hi Dani," Karen said not realizing how happy she sounded.

"Hi, Mom. You certainly sound cheery for someone whose city was just attacked by terrorists," Danielle commented.

"I think I deserve to sound happy. We won. The terrorists are all either dead or in custody."

"I guess that's one way to look at it," Danielle agreed. "How many hours did you end up working?"

"I lost count. It was over 24 hours, though. I started out yesterday morning at my office and then I was sent to the counter terrorist unit here in LA around 9 o'clock last night. I was there until after 12 this afternoon," Karen told her.

"You must be exhausted! Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I slept for a couple of hours, but the phone woke me up around 5 o'clock and I haven't been able to go back to sleep."

"What are you doing now? It sounds like you're looking through a book. I can hear the pages rustling."

"I'm flipping through some cookbooks looking for new recipes."

"I thought you didn't cook any more."

"I don't cook for myself," Karen admitted. She took a quick breath and decided to tell Danielle about Bill. "I'm having someone over for dinner next week and I wanted to make something special."

The statement was met with silence. "Do you mean that you're having a dinner party for friends or that you're having one person over?"

"It's just one person."

"Can I assume that person is a man?"

"That would be the correct assumption."

Danielle moved forward cautiously. "So, who is he?"

"He's the director of the counter terrorist unit. His name is Bill Buchanan."

"Tell me about him."

Karen found herself smiling and feeling like a teenager. "I don't know what to say. He's a couple of years older than me. He's tall and handsome. He's got incredibly blue eyes. He's intelligent and compassionate. I don't know what else to tell you," Karen said suppressing the urge to giggle.

"You know the divorce isn't final yet," Danielle said in a cool voice.

"Honey, I'm not sure that's relevant," Karen tried to maintain her composure. She wasn't going to be lectured by her daughter about dating, but by the same token, Karen knew how close Danielle was to her father and how hard their divorce was on her. "Dani, your father is in Paris living with his lover," Karen said bluntly. "I'm not sure why you think I'm not allowed to date."

"It's just that… I don't know…" Danielle stammered. "It's just that nothing's final yet. What if Dad decides that he was wrong and he wants to get back together with you? If you're involved with someone else he might be afraid to tell you. I just don't want to see you jump into anything, Mom." Karen could tell by the tremor in her voice that Danielle was trying hard not to cry.

"Dani, that's not going to happen. Honey, look at this realistically. Your father has been involved with Blake for twenty years. He was the one who filed for divorce. Do you think he's suddenly going to come to me and say, 'I've decided that I'm not gay and I think we should get back together.'? Even if he did, I would say 'no'."

"You're kidding me! Are you telling me that after almost 25 years of marriage if Dad wanted to reconcile that you would refuse," Danielle asked incredulously.

"Yes, I would. The two main ingredients for marriage are love and trust. Your father may have loved me once and I certainly loved him, but he betrayed my trust by cheating on me for the last 20 years. How could I ever trust him again?"

"He wasn't really cheating on you, Mom," Danielle said emphatically.

"He was having sex with someone else, Danielle! It doesn't matter that the someone else was a man. It's still cheating!" Despite her attempt to stay calm, Karen lost her temper. "I'm sorry if you're buying the bullshit that your father is selling. He can call it anything he wants, but having sex, any sex, outside of your marriage is cheating. God forbid that this should ever happen to you, but if it did, I think you'd see it my way." Karen took a deep breath and continued in a calmer tone. "Honey, I know you love your father and I'm not asking you to stop. I just want you to understand the reality of the situation. Your father is living his life and enjoying it and I deserve to do the same. That means if I want to go out with someone, I'm allowed to. Your father and I have been separated for a year now and this is the first time I've even thought of going out on a date. I'm finally starting to put my past behind me, Dani, I wish you could support that."

"I suppose I understand," Danielle conceded, "but that doesn't mean that I'm happy about it. For the record, I don't support what Dad is doing either and I've told him that."

Karen sighed. "Honey, this has been hard on all of us. I know how close you are to your dad and that has made it particularly hard on you, but you need to come to terms with it. Our divorce will be final in a matter of days and I'll be single again. Dating again after all of these years isn't easy. Please don't make this harder for me than it is."

With neither having anything to add to the conversation, the two said good night pleasantly and disconnected. Karen leaned forward with her elbows on her knees and put her face in her hands. Tears involuntarily streaked her face. She couldn't believe that something so benign as a dinner date could have become so complicated. She also couldn't believe that anyone as put together professionally as she had always been could be such an emotional wreck over her personal life.

Karen was beginning to compose herself fifteen minutes later when her phone rang again. This time the call was from her older son, Jacob. She got the picture. Danielle hung up from her and called Jake. Now Jake was calling to add his two cents worth. Karen wasn't in the mood for more of the same but decided that she would have to face it eventually and that now was as good a time as any.

"Hi, Jake," she said in a strong voice.

"Hey, Mom. How are you?"

"I'm doing okay. How are you?"

"I'm fine, but I didn't just go through a terrorist attack," Jacob told her. He followed in his mother's footsteps and worked for the FBI. Where Karen's role had been more administrative, Jake worked in computer forensics.

"The fact that we survived it still amazes me, but we have some incredibly dedicated agents and thanks to them, we did survive it," Karen told him softening up a bit. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe Danielle hadn't called him after all.

The two made some small talk for a few minutes before Jake confirmed her original suspicions. "I talked to Dani a little while ago," he said.

"Oh, you did. What did Dani tell you?"

"She said you have a date next weekend. She was pretty upset."

"She made that pretty clear to me," Karen said unemotionally.

"Look, Mom, I'm not here to argue with you. I told Dani that she was wrong. You have every right to date."

Karen nearly dropped the phone she was so surprised. This wasn't going at all like she expected. "Thank you for defending me."

"I wasn't really defending you. I think you're capable of defending yourself. I just want you to know that I support you all the way. Nothing would make me happier than to see you firmly entrenched in a good relationship. I hate to think that you're out there in LA all alone and I don't want you to be lonely. I hope everything works out with this guy."

"Thank you, Jake. I appreciate your support. I think it's a little early to be using words like relationship, but I really like Bill and I'd just like to have someone to have dinner with occasionally or maybe go to a movie. I'm not sure that I'm ready for romance just yet."

"Whatever you're looking for, Mom, I hope you find it. Don't worry about Dani, she'll come around. By the time I got off the phone with her, she was already warming up to the idea."

"I hope so," Karen admitted. "I don't need her permission to live my life the way I want to, but it would be nice if she approved. I want you all to approve."

Karen found that her mood had improved significantly as she finished her conversation with Jake and went back to recipe hunting. The conversations with two of her three children swirled in her brain and she wondered if Bill had gotten any resistance from his daughter or if he had even told her about their date. This whole thing might be more complicated than she had originally thought, but at the moment it seemed worth it. She smiled as she glanced at the calendar and mentally counted the days until the next Saturday. On paper it looked like an eternity but in reality it would be here before she knew it.

Bill and Karen had several business conversations in the aftermath of the terrorist attack. A long conference call between Karen, President Gardner and Secretary Heller, who was recovering surprisingly quickly, resulted in Gardner reluctantly leaving CTU as part of the CIA and not rolling it into Homeland Security as Bill had feared. Karen made sure that all of the credit for resolving the terrorist attack was given to Bill, Jack, Curtis, Chloe and Audrey and admitted that she and Miles had, at times, worked against the best recommendations of the CTU staff. Karen was pleased that the call had the desired result: Bill remained CTU director and was commended for his work that day.

With much to do at both CTU and Homeland, the days until their dinner passed quickly for Bill and Karen. Bill found himself just an hour before he was to arrive at Karen's, standing anxiously in front of the closet deciding what to wear. _This is stupid_, he thought. _This is something women do. Men just pick out the first thing they come to and put it on. _ He finally decided on khaki slacks and a green polo shirt that had thin navy blue stripes running through it. He knew that he made the right choice when he walked out of his bedroom just as Elise was walking out of hers.

She had her sleeping bag and pillow in one arm and a backpack with clothes in it slung over the opposite shoulder. "You look nice in that, Dad," she told him approving of his choice. "Green's a good color for you."

"Thanks, Ellie," he said. Knowing how concerned Elise had been about his going out on a date, he tried to be low keyed about it, but the truth was that he was surprisingly excited about having dinner with Karen and he wondered if he was doing a good job of covering it up. Elise hadn't brought the subject up again and Bill decided not to talk about it unless she brought it up first.

Bill dropped Elise off at her girlfriend's house. "Have a good time tonight, okay," she said as they walked to the front door.

Bill was surprised that she said anything. "Thanks, you too," he replied as nonchalantly as possible.

Elise stopped walking and looked at him realizing that he thought she was just saying that to be polite. "No, really, I mean it. I know I acted really crappy about it at first, but I thought a lot about it and I really want you to have a good time."

"Thank you," Bill said as he turned and hugged her. "That's a very mature attitude. I'm proud of you and I love you." They reached the front door and Elise kissed her father good bye before running into the house with the other girls.

"See you in the morning. I love you, Dad," Elise called over her shoulder.

A half hour later, Bill was standing at a different front door. This one belonged to Karen Hayes and he found himself strangely nervous. Karen answered the door and, it seemed to Bill, that she was as nervous as he.

"Bill, come it," she said in an exaggerated fashion as she took his jacket and hung it in the closet. "Make yourself at home. Can I get you a drink?" _Funny that two people who never allow their nerves to get in the way at work should be so awkward when they are alone together_, Bill thought.

Bill handed her two bottles of wine. "If you'd like we can start with the wine."

"That sounds great," Karen said as she took the bottles from him. "Make yourself at home," she said again, not able to think of anything else to say.

Bill stood looking around the comfortable living room while Karen went into the kitchen to pour the wine. He spotted a framed photograph of three young people on one of the end tables and picked it up to inspect it further.

"Those are my kids," Karen said as she came back into the room. Bill couldn't miss the pride in her voice.

"Good looking family," Bill commented.

"Thank you," Karen said as she handed Bill a glass of wine. She pointed to the blond haired boy in the middle. "That's Jacob. He graduated from MIT last year with a degree in computer engineering. He's working for the FBI now in computer forensics."

"Impressive," Bill said sincerely.

Karen continued. "Nathan's on the left. He's a senior at American University. He's going to go to law school at William and Mary in the fall."

"Wow! That's quite an achievement, too," Bill told her.

"That's Danielle on the right. She's a freshman at Villanova majoring in international business and Spanish."

"Well then, she's got your looks and your brains. She's very pretty."

"I'm afraid that she's not very happy with me at the moment."

"Really?" Bill wasn't sure what to say. He didn't want to get too personal and ask why but Karen had opened the subject up as if she wanted to talk about it.

She turned away and looked out the window for a moment. "She's not happy that I had a date tonight. She's got some misguided idea that her father might want to reconcile. She's always been her daddy's girl. You probably understand that phenomenon better than I do." Karen sighed quietly. "She's never accepted that her father is gay. And she's still under the impression that Brian is going through some kind of weird phase and that he's going to wake up some morning and decide that he wants his old life back. I told her that it wasn't going to happen. He's been with Blake for twenty years. I don't think you can consider that 'a phase'."

"I'm sorry, Karen. I didn't mean to complicate your life when I asked you to breakfast that morning."

"Don't apologize. Let me worry about the complications. My sons are both fine with it. Danielle just needs some time to adjust. How does your daughter feel about you going out on a date, if I might ask?"

Bill smiled. "She was a little upset at first and she had what I like to call a meltdown. I think she's over it now. When I dropped her off tonight she told me that she'd thought it over and she hoped that I'd have a good time. So, I guess that means that she's coming around."

"Do you have a picture of her? I'd love to see it," Karen asked.

Bill pulled out the same two pictures that he had shown to Collette Stenger. Karen scrutinized them for a few moments. "She's lovely, Bill. She's got your eyes, that's for sure." Karen continued to look at the pictures and finally shook her head. "She reminds me of someone I've seen before, I just can't figure out who."

Bill knew that it was just a matter of time before Karen realized who it was that Elise looked like. He decided that it was best to be honest with her now. "Let me show you something," he said as he retrieved his PDA from his jacket pocket. He opened the palm and pulled up a picture of Collette Stenger that he had downloaded the night she was arrested. "Do you recognize this woman?"

"Of course, that's Collette Stenger," Karen said as she shrugged, not quite understanding what he was getting at.

Bill took the close up picture of Elise and held it next to the image on the PDA. Karen's eyes flicked between the two faces and finally back to Bill's. "Elise looks just like her," Karen said, the importance of that statement still not quite sinking in.

"I met Collette Stenger in Germany fifteen years ago when she was using the name Ava Stroebel. She was a secretary at the US embassy." Bill could see the proverbial lights go on in Karen's head.

"Collette Stenger is Elise's mother?"

Bill closed his eyes and nodded. "Yes," he whispered almost inaudibly. "Once I came back to the US, I lost all track of Ava. I had no idea that she had become an international information broker. At the time I fell in love with her, I knew she had communist ties, but," he sighed, "I was so in love that I just tried to ignore it. Other than that I thought she was harmless. You know the rest of the story. Eventually she became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. I convinced her not to and I brought Elise back to this country to raise her."

"Oh, Bill," Karen whispered, stunned by his revelation. "I had no idea."

"No one does. In the briefing that Chloe gave the night we arrested Collette, she said that there was a rumor that she had a baby by a CIA agent, but there was no proof. That's the closest anyone has ever come to knowing the truth."

"Didn't your colleagues in the CIA know? How did you keep it a secret?" Karen asked.

"I didn't really have a personal relationship with most of my coworkers. Ava was a communist sympathizer. If they had known that I was living with her, it would have ruined my career. Once Elise was born, I did everything I could to keep it a secret, but it all started to unravel. I had one very close friend at the CIA. He was my supervisor, Nick Granger. I finally broke down and told Nick the truth. I assumed that he would fire me on the spot, but I didn't care at that point. I was exhausted from work and trying to take care of an infant. All I wanted to do was take Elise and go home to my family."

"Granger obviously didn't fire you."

"No, he was very gracious. He told me that the CIA had put too much time and effort into training me and he didn't want to lose me. So, he helped me get a transfer to CTU in New York and he arranged for a forged birth certificate that didn't have Ava Stroebel's name on it and a passport for Elise. She and I moved to Connecticut and that's the end of the story."

"Until now."

"That's right."

"Does Elise know about her mother?"

"No, I can't bear to tell her. How do I tell her that her mother has spent the last twelve years selling state secrets to terrorists that have resulted in the deaths of hundreds of innocent people all over the world? I can't do it, Karen. That child's been hurt enough by her mother. There's no way that I'm telling her this."

Karen nodded. "You're probably right. Collette's going to be in prison for a long time and after that, she'll be deported to Germany where they'll probably try her for any crimes that the statute of limitations hasn't run out on. I generally support telling kids the truth, because if you don't and they find out, they're twice as angry. In this case, I suppose that not telling Elise is a safe thing to do."

"Can I assume that my secret is safe with you?" Bill asked hoping that the anxiety he felt wasn't coming through in his voice.

"Absolutely. I'll never tell anyone, Bill. You can count on that," she told him sincerely. As she said it, she put her hand gently on top of his.

"Thank you, Karen. You don't know what that means to me." Bill turned his hand over and squeezed hers warmly.

Dinner conversation lightened up considerably after their very serious cocktail conversation. The two talked about family and careers and hobbies and dozens of other inconsequential subjects. It was almost one in the morning when Bill finally got up to leave.

"Karen, I had a wonderful time," he told her as he donned his jacket. "I'd like to see you again."

"I feel the same way," Karen said smiling. "Can we get together next weekend or do you have plans?"

"I don't think I have any plans. Elise has a soccer game on Saturday morning at 11 o'clock, but I should be free after that."

"I'd like to meet Elise. What if I met you at the soccer game and then the three of us could go to lunch afterward."

"Are you sure? I can't guarantee what kind of reception you'll get from Elise."

"I'm not asking for guarantees. I just think that it might be best for her if she gets to know me and understands that I'm not a threat to her."

"It sounds great to me. Let me talk to Ellie and I'll see how she reacts. I'll call you tomorrow and let you know," Bill suggested.

"Then it sounds like a plan. I'll wait to hear from you," Karen replied.

They exchanged a friendly good night kiss and Karen stood in the door watching as Bill walked toward the elevator and out of her line of sight.

Bill drove home with the memory of the evening strong in his mind. He replayed conversations and looks and smiles and wondered if Karen was doing the same thing. He also considered how he was going to bring up the idea of lunch with Karen to Elise. Her initial reaction to his going out on a date had taken him by surprise, but so had her words earlier in the evening when she said that she hoped he had a good time. Since there was just no way of predicting what the 12 year old would say or do, he might as well just put the thought out of his mind and worry about it when he picked her up in the morning.

Karen was engrossed in cleaning up the kitchen and reliving her evening with Bill when her phone rang. She answered without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello," she said absently.

"Hi, Mom."

"Hi Dani," Karen returned. "What are you doing calling so late? It's four in the morning on the east coast."

"It's midterm week. I'm studying."

"Oh, I get it. Pulling an all-nighter. I remember those days," Karen said. "So what's on your mind or do you just need a break?"

"I thought I'd call and see how your dinner date went."

"We had a nice time. Thank you for asking."

"Did you kiss him good night?" Danielle's voice hinted of amusement. Karen didn't care if her daughter found it funny. It was better than her being hostile.

"I don't kiss and tell," Karen retorted.

"Good come back, Mom, but I'll take it as a 'yes'!"

"You can take it as whatever you want," Karen said laughing.

"Does that mean it was more than a kiss?" Danielle asked. "Oh my God! Did I interrupt something? Is he still there?"

"Yes, you interrupted me washing dishes and no, he's not still here. He left a few minutes ago. I guess we need a set of rules now that I'm dating. I don't ask what you do with your dates, so you don't get to ask what I do with mine. How does that sound?"

"It's a deal," Danielle agreed.

"So, I get the impression that you're not quite as upset as you were ten days ago. Am I right?"

"I calmed down and thought about it. You're right. It's still a hard adjustment to think of my mother as 'available', but I guess you are. Did you get the final papers?"

"Two days ago," Karen replied her voice suddenly quiet and sad. "You're right. I'm officially available now."

"I'm sorry, Mom. I've spent the last year feeling sorry for myself. But it suddenly occurred to me how you must have felt when you got the divorce papers in the mail."

"It's not like I wasn't expecting them. It was a strange feeling when I actually held them in my hands. I ended up opening a bottle of wine and drinking most of it in the next couple of hours. Then I cried myself to sleep."

"Oh, Mom, why didn't you call me? I hate to think you were miserable and all by yourself."

"Nobody could help me though it. I had to do it myself. After I had a good cry and a good night's sleep and a hell of a hangover, I felt a lot better," Karen was smiling now. "I'm okay, Dani. I wasn't so sure about it for a while, but I'm okay now."

The next morning brought gray, damp weather and a prediction for at least another two days of rain. Bill looked out the kitchen window and watched the rain not caring at all that the sky was the color of molten steel. His evening with Karen had gone better than he could have hoped and she was interested in meeting Elise. The whole thing made him smile as he grabbed an umbrella and went out to the car to go and pick up Elise.

Within less than fifteen minutes, Bill and Elise were on their way home listening to the rain pound on the car roof. Elise settled into the passenger seat, closed her blue eyes and let her head rest on the seatback.

"Didn't get much sleep last night, did you?" Bill asked

"Maybe an hour or two this morning."

"Why do you call those parties 'sleep overs' if no one sleeps?" he asked in an amused voice.

"It's a girl thing, Dad," Elise explained. The corners of her lips curled into a smile, but she didn't bother to open her eyes.

"Okay, I get it," her father replied.

Elise opened her eyes and turned to look at him. "You don't really get it, do you?" she asked giggling impishly.

"No, I don't," Bill told her. Now he was laughing, too. "I guess it's just one of those things that a guy doesn't understand."

"I guess so, too," Elise agreed now laughing harder. "Admit it, Dad, some days you wish I was a boy."

"Never," Bill said unable to suppress a smile.

"You're a terrible liar!" Elise exclaimed, peals of laughter filling the car. "Admit it! Somedays you wish I was a boy."

"Okay, occasionally," Bill said. He loved it when she laughed like this over something so simple. Her laugh was like the tolling of church bells to him, filling him was a sense of happiness that was like none other. Bill stopped laughing and his voice became warm and gentle. "But only for a fleeting moment or two. Then I remember all the things I love about you being a girl and I wouldn't want it any other way." He took his eyes off the road for a moment to look at her and make sure that his remark had hit home.

"Thanks, Dad," Elise returned in an equally serious voice. Her tone lightened up again quickly. "So, if I were a boy, what would you have named me?"

"You're not a boy, so it doesn't matter," Bill told her.

"But what if I was? What would you have named me? Would I have been William, Jr.?"

Bill thought quickly and smiled. "Ellis," he said coming up with the closest male name to Elise that he could think of.

"You're lying again!" Elise started laughing. "I can tell. It's a good thing you don't go undercover, because the terrorists would know in a second when you were lying. Tell me what you would have named a boy."

"I don't know," Bill said truthfully.

"You didn't have a name for a boy?"

"No."

"Did you know that I was a girl before I was born?"

"No."

"Then why didn't you have names for both a boy and a girl picked out?"

Bill knew that he was going to have to do some quick thinking to give an acceptable answer to this question. How could he explain that her name was an afterthought? "I didn't name you until I saw you. Then I decided that you looked like an Elise." That seemed an acceptable answer.

Elise's laughter had now subsided and her tone was serious. "So, you chose my name. My mother didn't have anything to do with it?"

Bill didn't like where the conversation was going. "Yes, I chose your name."

"Does my mother even know my name?"

_She didn't until ten days ago,_ Bill thought. "Yes, she does," he answered.

Elise turned and looked out the window at the rain for a long moment. Bill sat silently watching the windshield wipers rhythmically swish the rain aside while he waited for the traffic light to turn green. He was surprised when Elise turned back toward him and spoke.

"How was your date?" she asked. She sounded genuinely interested.

"It was very nice. We had a nice evening."

"Is she a good cook?"

"Very good. She made some of the best salmon that I've ever had."

"Are you going to see her again?"

"I'd like to. In fact, I wanted to ask you about that."

"You don't have to ask my permission," Elise reminded him.

"I know that. Karen suggested that she come to your soccer game next week and then we could all go to lunch together. I told her that I'd have to discuss it with you. Would you like to meet her?"

Elise shrugged. "I guess that would be fine. I mean, I'll have to meet her sometime. Right?"

"It's up to you, Ellie. If you're ready to meet her, then I'll tell her that next Saturday is fine. If not, we'll do it another time when you are ready."

"This sounds kind of serious if you want me to meet her."

"I don't think it's serious at all, but we're in the process of getting to know one another. You're the most important part of my life. For that reason, Karen and I both think that it's important for her to meet you."

"Does she have kids?"

"Yes. Three."

"When are you going to meet them?"

"Probably not anytime soon. They all live on the east coast," Bill explained as he pulled the car into the driveway.

"She really wants to come and see my soccer game? We're playing St. Mary's. We always lose to them."

Bill smiled. "I don't think the outcome matters. I think meeting you is the important part of the game. Do we have a deal?"

"It's a deal," Elise said. "Can we go to the new Mexican place near the soccer field? They're supposed to have great burritos."

"I'm sure that'll be fine," Bill told her as they stepped out of the rain and into the warm, dry house.

"Cool. Tell her okay," Elise said dropped her sleeping bag and backpack near the door and ran off to her room carrying her pillow. "I need some sleep. Wake me up in a couple of hours."

Bill watched her go. The world of a 12 year old girl was an amazing thing. Their fifteen minute drive home ran the gamut from hysterical laughter to sullen silence and everything in between. How could she do it? Amusement over Bill's inability to understand young girls was replaced by the hurt of rejection by her mother. That in turn was replaced by the idea of meeting this stranger who her father was so taken with. It was enough to make Bill dizzy and have one of those fleeting moments when he wished Elise was a boy. It passed quickly, though, as it always did and Bill again smiled at the fact that she was a girl, she was _his girl_.


	6. The Future Part IV

_Thanks again for all of the reviews! I'm really pleased with the response that this story has received. I never expected it to attract as much interest as it has. Hope you enjoy this chapter. And don't forget to review!_

The Future – Part IV

Saturday morning was clear and sunny. The air was still cool as Bill dropped Elise off at the soccer field 45 minutes before the game for warm up drills. He watched her join her teammates on the field and then parked his car in the nearby parking lot and headed off on foot to the coffee shop about a half mile away.

By the time he reached the coffee shop, he was at the end of a long line of soccer parents who were also getting coffee to fend off the morning chill. Bill immediately recognized Ed and Cindy Guthrie, Katie's parents.

"Hi, Bill," Cindy called as Bill entered the shop. They already had their paper cups with the cardboard jackets in hand and were on their way back to the soccer field.

Bill greeted them and the three talked while Bill waited his turn. Bill frequently stopped at the shop on the way to work and the girls behind the counter knew his order without even asking.

"A medium coffee with cream," one of them said as she reached for the cup.

"Make it one medium with cream and a second with milk and a little sugar and two of the chocolate biscotti, please" he told her.

Ed Guthrie smiled. "What's wrong, Bill. You think it's going to take both caffeine and sugar to keep you awake through this game?"

Bill smiled back. "No, I think it should be a good game. The other coffee's for a friend of mine whose coming to the game."

"Elise told Katie that you were bringing your girlfriend to the game," Cindy said happily. Cindy Guthrie had been trying to fix Bill up with every single woman she knew for the last three years.

"My girlfriend? Is that what Elise told Katie?" Bill asked.

"She said that the two of you were having dinner the night of Katie's sleep over. Then Monday, Katie came home from school and said you were bringing your girlfriend to the soccer game," Cindy said.

"That's interesting," Bill commented. "I wonder who else she said that to."

"I know she told Natalie and Grace," one of the other mothers piped up. "They were talking about it on the way here this morning."

"You're kidding me! This is actually a topic of conversation?" Bill, being an extremely private person, was mortified. "I've been out with this woman twice; she's not my girlfriend. I think it's interesting that Elise is portraying it this way."

"Don't try and figure it out, Bill," Ed Guthrie told him. "There is no figuring out 12 year old girls. Believe me, Katie is my third and I still haven't figured them out. And it doesn't get any easier when they get older either."

"I just can't tell if she's happy that I'm seeing someone or unhappy about it. At first she was really upset. She seems to have warmed up to the idea."

The threesome started walking up the block toward the soccer field. They were just about to enter the gate when Bill heard a familiar voice behind him and turned to the source.

"G-Man!" his sister shouted. She ran the short distance to catch up. "Oh, you brought me coffee. Thanks!" she said as she reached for a cup.

"Sorry, not for you," Bill said as he pulled the cardboard tray holding the drinks and biscotti away from her. "What are you doing here? I didn't know you were coming to the game."

"I wouldn't miss this for the world," Jane told him.

"Since when are you interested in soccer? You don't usually come to games."

"It's not the game I'm interested in," she said. "I just want to meet your new girlfriend."

"What! What makes you think I have a girlfriend?" Bill asked becoming exasperated that everyone seemed to know that Karen was coming to the game.

"Ellie told me. She said that you had a girlfriend named Karen and that she's coming to the game today. Why are you keeping this a secret, G-Man? You spies are all alike."

"Elise is exaggerating. Karen and I have had lunch together once and dinner once. That hardly makes her my girlfriend. I'm not keeping it a secret. It's just that there's nothing to tell at this point. And I wish you would stop referring to me as a spy, Janie, because I'm not! If I were a spy, you wouldn't even know that I worked for the government!" Bill's face was reddening as he became more and more flustered.

"Calm down, Bill," Jane told him. "That vein in your forehead is starting to show. That always happens when you're mad. I'll keep a low profile. I just want to meet Karen so I can report back to Mom. She's just dying to know about her."

"Report back to Mom? How does Mom know about this? You two need to stay out of my personal life. Information like this is on a need to know basis. When Mom and Dad need to know something, I'll tell them. I don't get involved in your personal life. I didn't show up at the anti-nuke rally to check up on you and your new boyfriend and I didn't call Mom and tell her about him."

Jane looked shocked. "Who told you I have a boyfriend? Do you have your goons following me and reporting back to you?"

"Oh, no. I have a better source than government agents and much cheaper. She's about this tall," he held his hand a little more than five feet off the ground. "Give her a rocky road ice cream cone and she'll tell you anything."

"Elise! I can't believe the squirt ratted me out!"

"If you think she's only loyal to you, you need to think again, little sister. So, let's hear about Mr. Nelson."

Cindy Guthrie, who despite being a good friend, could easily be considered a busy body, chimed in. "Janie, you're dating Mr. Nelson, the new Latin teacher? Our Jessica has him this year. Maybe you could convince him to give her a B in his class. She's having a terrible time on the tests, but she's working really hard. I'm afraid that a C is going to be all she can pull off in that class. We're really hoping that she'll get into Stanford, that's Ed's alma mater, but that C is really going to look bad on her transcript."

"Sorry, Cindy, can't help. Vincent and I have agreed not to interfere with each other's classes. Tell Jessica to talk to him and see if she can do some extra credit work." Jane turned back to Bill. "Okay, from here on out I stay out of your personal life, but you have to promise not to tell Mom about Vincent. I just couldn't deal with all of her questions."

"Agreed," Bill said. It was then that he spotted Karen parking her car. "Now be a sport and don't act more interested in my life than necessary. I'll introduce you to Karen, but make it look like you're actually here to see the game. That ought to take all of your energy since you hate sports."

"I don't hate sports. I just don't understand why they have to be involved in competitive sports at such a young age. Then when they lose it just hurts their self esteem. Twelve year olds are fragile creatures. I just don't think it's good for their psyche to go out there with the idea of kicking butt and then have to face the emotions of either winning or losing. Maybe they could just play and not keep score."

Bill rolled his eyes skyward as if asking God for strength. Once again Jane's liberalism was making him crazy. "Do you live in the real world or are we in parallel universes that just happen to collide on a regular basis? Find a seat in the bleachers. Karen and I will be over in a minute," Bill directed his sister and then turned to walk toward Karen.

Bill was flustered. It was an emotion that he rarely felt, but he felt it keenly that morning and he hoped that he could bury the emotion as he walked the hundred or so feet to where Karen was parked. As if it wasn't enough that he had barely slept the night before for worrying about Elise and Karen's first meeting, now his social life was suddenly the concern of seemingly everyone he knew. He wished that he understood why Elise had told everyone about Karen. He wished that this wasn't all so complicated. And for at least the hundredth time since he had innocently asked Karen to breakfast a little more than two weeks earlier, he wondered if he had made the right choice. What little time they had spent together was almost magical. He couldn't explain it, but he loved the feeling. At the same time, dating under the watchful eye of his 12 year old daughter was harder than he would have ever thought it could be.

Karen parked her car near the far end of the small lot. She got out and started the trek to the soccer field remembering dozens of similar Saturday mornings with her own children. She was unreasonably nervous and she knew it. She chastised herself for it. _There is no need to be this worried about meeting Elise_, she told herself. She had chanted it like a mantra the whole time she was driving but it didn't help. The truth was that everything was riding on this meeting. She knew how much Bill loved his daughter and she also knew that if she and Elise didn't hit if off that Bill would politely find some excuse for the two of them to stop seeing one another. That was the part that scared her. In the short time the two of them had spent together, she had been happier than she had been in years. She was amazed to find that the serious, straight-laced CTU director was witty and charming and had scads of things in common with her. They liked the same books and movies and music. They had the same strong family ties and values. As hard as she had tried to avoid it, she had to admit to herself that Bill was quickly becoming an important part of her life.

Karen began to relax as soon as she saw Bill walking toward her. Something about his presence was so reassuring. "Good morning," she called as they got within a reasonable speaking distance. "Nice day for a soccer game."

"Perfect," Bill agreed. He leaned forward and gave her a friendly kiss which Karen eagerly returned. The few kisses they had shared had been nothing more than friendly, but she found herself wanting more and at the same time angry at herself for thinking that way when they had known each other such a short time.

They started toward the soccer field while chatting about the weather and the condition of the field. Bill casually introduced Karen to his sister and to the Guthries as they took seats in the bleachers. They exchanged quick greetings and then turned their attention to the field where the game was about to begin.

St James' Academy had won the toss and elected to take the kick off. Karen immediately spotted Bill's chestnut haired daughter just behind the circle in the middle of the field. "Elise is the right half-back, right?" Karen asked Bill.

"That's her. Number 14," he nodded indicating the uniform number on her back.

The teams were pretty evenly matched and by half time the game remained a scoreless tie. Elise trotted off the field with her team and huddled under a nearby oak tree. As she walked past the stands, she waved shyly to Bill and Karen, who returned the wave. "Good game, Ellie!" Bill shouted. "Keep it up."

St. James' second half strategy didn't work quite as well as the first half's had and St. Mary's scored twice in the first ten minutes. The St. James' coach called a time out to regroup and then the girls again took the field. Elise, who had been sitting out for a few minutes to catch her breath was back in the game.

St James' was holding its own again when they took advantage of a mistake by St. Mary's and took possession of the ball. Katie Guthrie passed the ball down field to Elise who dribbled around two St. Mary's defenders. Not willing to see her do that again, St. Mary's double teamed her and boxed her in. Elise wasn't going to give up easily. She tapped the ball gently with her instep and nudged it forward. Just as the defender reached her own right foot out to steal, Elise pulled the ball back and reversed direction. Double teaming Elise had left Katie open and Elise sent the ball across the mouth of the goal where Katie could kick it in.

The girls celebrated their goal briefly but set back to work trying to tie up the game. In the end they weren't successful and the 2 to 1 score in favor of St. Mary's held up. Parents lined up on the sidelines to greet their daughters as they came off the field. Bill and Karen stood off to one side so that they had a little bit of privacy.

"You'll get 'em next time, Ellie," Bill told Elise as she ran off the field toward him.

"I hope so. I'm tired of losing to them!" she said as she squirted water from her water bottle onto her face. "Why is Aunt Jane here? She hates soccer."

Bill ignored the question. "Elise, this is Ms. Hayes," Bill said, his heart thumping just a little harder in his chest.

"It's Karen," she said as she extended her hand to Elise. "You were great out there. Nice footwork. The St. Mary's girl didn't see that coming. Then your cross was right on. You set up that goal perfectly."

Elise's face was red from exertion but Bill thought that it reddened just a little bit more with Karen's compliment.

"Thank you. It sounds like you know something about soccer."

"I played on my high school team," Karen told her.

"Really? What position?"

"Benchwarmer mostly, but when I got in the game I played half back or forward."

Bill smiled at how well the interaction was going. He looked at his watch. "Why don't you go get showered so we can go to lunch," he suggested.

Elise looked over and most of the girls were already on their way to the locker room. "Okay, I'll make it a short one," she said and ran off after her teammates.

"She's lovely, Bill," Karen said once Elise was out of earshot.

"At least she's talking. If she was quiet I'd know that she wasn't happy, but she's talking to you so that's a start."

Fifteen minutes later Elise was the first of the girls to exit the school. She was wearing Capri pants with a light weight shirt and a denim jacket. Her hair was still wet and she had pulled it up to get it off of her neck. Her soccer bag was slung over her shoulder.

"Are you guys ready to eat?" she asked. "Losing always makes me hungry."

"That new Mexican place is just down the street," Bill said. "Why don't you throw your bag in the car and we'll walk."

Elise agreed and soon they were off in the direction of the restaurant.

Lunch went smoothly. Karen and Elise talked about soccer and school while Bill looked on happy with what he was witnessing. Elise and Karen seemed to genuinely like each other. Their conversation wasn't forced or strained and by the end of the meal they had all relaxed. It was almost two o'clock when Bill decided that it was time to go home.

"I hate to break this up," he said, "but I think you have an English paper that you have to work on this afternoon, Ellie."

"Oh, that," she said rolling her eyes. "It shouldn't take me all that long. Maybe a couple of hours. Can't we just stay here a little longer?"

"Honey, we've been here for an hour and a half. It's a restaurant. Once you finish eating you're supposed to leave."

"I know," Elise said reluctantly as she pushed away from the table. "I just don't feel like working on that paper."

"Finish it up and then tonight we'll watch the movie we rented," Bill told her as he held the door for Karen and Elise to exit the restaurant.

"Saturday's movie night. We make sandwiches and snacks and eat in front of the television. It's the only night of the week that says it's okay not to eat at the dinner table," Elise explained as they walked back to their cars. "Dad, maybe Karen would like to come over and watch the movie with us tonight?"

Elise's suggestion took Bill by surprise. He looked from Elise to Karen trying to decide what to say. "It's nothing special, Karen. Ellie's hooked on Alfred Hitchcock movies so we rented 'The Birds'. If you've got something else to do, we'd understand."

"Oh please, come over. It'd be fun," Elise said ignoring the fact that her father was giving Karen a graceful way out. "My favorite movie night dinner is grilled cheese sandwiches."

"Do you put tomato on them?" Karen asked smiling.

"Dad puts tomato on his, but I don't. He says that I'm a purist," Elise replied. Her blue eyes had grown wide with excitement.

Karen laughed. "Now how can I possibly pass up grilled cheese with tomato," she said as she looked from Elise and then to Bill. "How about if I make the snacks? I think I can come up with something appropriate for an Alfred Hitchcock movie."

"Karen, that's sweet of you, but you don't have to," Bill said.

"I insist. What time should I be there?"

"About 7:30. Is that alright with you?"

"Seven thirty it is, then. Thanks for the invitation. I'll see you both then." Karen and Bill looked at each other for a moment both considering whether a kiss was advisable or not. They both seemed to decide against it since Elise was standing right in front of them.

Karen slipped behind the wheel of her car enormously pleased with her first meeting with Elise. She found herself looking forward to eating grilled cheese sandwiches and watching a movie that she had seen at least ten times. It didn't matter. As long as she was with Bill, and now with Elise as well, she was happy.

As soon as Karen started to pull her car away, Bill and Elise turned to go to their car.

"So, Dad," Elise started as she bumped into him playfully. "Why didn't you kiss her goodbye?"

"Excuse me?" Bill said. Again he was genuinely surprised at Elise's acceptance of the situation.

"Why didn't you kiss her?" she asked again climbing into the passenger seat.

"I don't think that's any of your business," Bill said trying to suppress a laugh.

"Come on now, Dad! You stood there and looked at each other. You wanted to kiss her and she wanted you to kiss her. So why didn't you do it?"

"When did you become such an expert on male/female relationships?" Bill asked trying unsuccessfully to sound annoyed.

"Don't change the subject! Why didn't you kiss her? Was it because I was there?"

"Maybe it was," Bill admitted.

"Well, when you marry her you're going to have to kiss her in front of me."

"Hold it, Ellie!" Bill said tapping the brakes to stop for a red light and then looking in Elise's direction. "Nobody's talking marriage. We've only gone out a couple of times."

"I know, but you're so happy when you're with her. You're completely different, Dad."

"I am not! I'm the same person I've always been."

"You're different, Dad. Believe me. I know you and you're different. Don't get upset. It's not a bad thing. I'm not mad about it. I like it. I like to see you this happy."

"I'm always happy when I'm with you, Ellie. I've told you before that you're all I need."

"No, Dad, that's not true. I watched you today and something special happened. That was when I realized that I can't be the only girl in your life. And I know that there's room in your heart for both of us."

Bill smiled at her. "You're amazing. Do you know that? You sound so grown up when you say things like that."

Elise shrugged. "I just said what I felt. I don't know if that's grown up or not. You're the best, Dad and I want you to be happy. So maybe I'm rushing the marriage thing, but if you get to that point, just know that if it makes you happy, it makes me happy, too."

Bill reached over and squeezed her hand. "I love you, Elise."

"I love you, too, Dad," she said returning the squeeze.

None of the three of them would have readily admitted it, but Bill, Karen and Elise were all excited about spending Saturday evening together. Seven thirty finally arrived. Bill was in the kitchen getting ready to grill the sandwiches and Elise had just finished vacuuming the family room when Karen rang the doorbell.

"I'll get it!" Elise shouted as she darted through the kitchen past Bill. She looked at him and skidded to a halt, her socks slipping on the ceramic tile floor. "Actually, why don't you get it. I'll get the sandwiches started," she said remembering that Karen was her father's guest and not really hers.

"Thanks," he said smiling. Bill opened the door for Karen who stepped in the house and out of the cool night air.

"Hi," Karen said smiling broadly as she entered the house. She stopped for a moment and turned her face upward so that she and Bill could kiss lightly. "You've got a beautiful place here," she said looking around the living room.

"Thanks," he returned. "Let me help you with those." Bill took a large baking dish from her. "Ellie, we need a hand," he called.

Elise popped out from the dining room way too quickly. Bill knew that she had left the kitchen and made her way closer to the front door.

"Hi, Karen," she said happily as Bill handed her the baking dish. "What's in here?"

"Well, I thought since we're watching 'The Birds' that wings would be appropriate. So I made honey-barbeque chicken wings. If we put them in the oven now, they'll be ready by the time Tippi Hedren first gets attacked by a bird."

Bill started to laugh. "Sounds like you've seen the movie more than once."

"I've seen it more times than I can count and I still love it. I can't wait to watch it again."

"What's in the other dish?" Elise asked eyeing up a foil covered plate that Karen was still holding.

"That's dessert," Karen replied. "Cheesecake brownies. They're my daughter's favorite. I thought you might like them, too."

"Sounds great," Elise said reaching for the dish.

"Not a chance!" Bill said. "They won't make it to the kitchen without you stealing one. I'll carry those."

Elise giggled. "You have no faith in me!"

"I have faith, just not blind faith!" Bill retorted as he took Karen's coat and hung it in the closet.

It didn't take long to grill the sandwiches and put the chicken wings in the oven. Elise poured drinks for everyone and carried them on a tray to the family room. Bill and Karen followed with the sandwiches on plates. The three of them sat down on the sectional sofa and Bill pulled the coffee table closer so that it could be used as a makeshift dining table.

With everyone comfortable, Elise started the movie. They ate the sandwiches and nibbled on wings and dessert and watched the movie, laughing over old, out of date special effects. By the end of the movie, Bill sat in the middle of the sectional with Karen resting against him on one side and Elise resting against him on the other. He had an arm around each of them and, at some point, he realized that he wasn't really watching the movie as much as he was enjoying being with _his girls._

It was a little after ten when the movie ended. Elise helped clean up the dishes before looking at the clock and announcing that it was time for her to go to bed. Bill smiled knowing that Elise never went to bed this early on a Saturday night.

"Goodnight, Dad," she said raising up on her toes for a kiss.

"Goodnight, Sweetheart," Bill said as he kissed her.

"Goodnight, Karen," Elise said. And then she surprised them by reaching out for a hug. Karen smiled and returned the hug, happy to know that Elise was warming up to her so nicely. "Can you come for movie night next Saturday?" she asked.

"I'd love to," Karen told her.

Elise's eyes danced with excitement. "Dad, can we plan on that? Is that okay with you?"

"It's fine with me. I'll be looking forward to it."

"Thank you!" Elise squealed and wrapped her arms around his neck. She was suddenly back in little girl mode after being very grown up all day. Bill and Karen watched Elise practically dance up the stairs.

Bill snaked his arm around Karen's waist and he pulled her close. "Thank you," he whispered into hear ear.

"For what?" she asked.

"For getting along with my daughter."

"She's a doll, Bill. I'm crazy about her. And I'm crazy about her father, too," she added.


	7. The Future Part V

_This story has simply developed a life of its own! It was only supposed to be three chapters long. Now the ending alone is five chapters and counting. I don't seem to know when to quit! Anyway, thanks for staying with me. I appreciate it. Again, I thought this would be the last chapter, but it isn't. There will be one AND ONLY ONE (I swear) more. Hope you'll stay with me for the final two chapters. And, as always, I'm shamelessly begging for reviews because I don't have a life and reviews are all I live for. (Oh, God! Am I pathetic or what!)_

The Future – Part V

Saturday movie night became a regular date for Bill, Karen and Elise. It worked about the same way every week: some kind of sandwich for dinner, snacks and dessert and an Alfred Hitchcock movie. One week it was _Rear Window_, another week they watched _Notorious_ followed by _Vertigo_ and _The Stranger On the Train_. Every week Elise begged to watch _Psycho_ and every week Bill refused. "Your Aunt Jane watched that movie when she was your age and she refused to shower for the next two weeks!" he would tell her.

The movie would end around ten o'clock or so and Elise would feign exhaustion, kiss Bill and Karen good night and head upstairs leaving them some time to themselves. And every week she hoped to get up on Sunday morning to find them tangled in a lovers knot in her father's bed. But much to the little cupid's chagrin, it never happened. Bill and Karen would snuggle on the sofa for a couple of hours sipping wine and talking or watching a movie that they didn't think was appropriate for Elise and sometime around midnight, Karen would go home.

When Bill had to go to Washington for a week long conference of CTU directors, Elise convinced him to let her stay with Karen instead of having his parents come to LA and stay with her. "You know, Dad," she started with her prepared speech, "I'll be going to Phoenix to spend a week with Grandma and Grandpa in a month when school lets out. It seems silly for them to come and stay with me now and then for me to go out there in a couple of weeks." Bill happily agreed to the arrangement. He was thrilled that Karen and Elise got along so well.

Girls' week, as they started to refer to it, was more fun than Elise or Karen had expected. They went shopping and got their nails done, watched movies that Bill would have called mushy and romantic and giggled over all sorts of silly things.

Friday night was Elise's last night with Karen; Bill was coming home on Saturday. They ordered Chinese food and chatted over dinner.

"I've had a great time this week, Karen. Can we do it again sometime? I mean, even if Dad doesn't have to go away for work. Maybe we could just pick a week and do this again," Elise suggested.

"It's fine with me. I had fun, too," Karen agreed.

"Besides," Elise continued, "it would give my dad a break. He has to get tired of dealing with me sometimes."

"Ellie, your father loves you. He doesn't get tired of dealing with you," Karen corrected her.

"I know he loves me, but being a single father's got to be a drag some days."

"I don't think he ever considers it a drag," Karen assured her.

The two were silent for a few moments before Elise spoke again.

"When are you and Dad going to get married?"

Karen smiled. "Honey, we've only been dating a few months. We've never even talked about marriage." She hoped that her casual response belied her desire to have that happen.

"Why not? You love each other don't you?"

"You're right, we do love each other."

"Then what are you waiting for?"

"Marriage is serious business. We both need to make sure that we're ready."

Elise nodded as if she understood, but she really didn't. "Do you still love your ex-husband?"

"I'm not sure that you get to ask that question, Elise. That's pretty personal, but the answer is no. I don't still love Brian."

"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't ask, but what made you stop loving him?"

"When he told me that he'd been cheating on me for 20 years, I pretty much stopped loving him right away," Karen said with a wry smile. "Why are we playing twenty questions, Ellie?"

"I don't know. I just wondered. I guess I was wondering what makes you stop loving someone. I think my dad loved my mother for a really long time even though she hurt him. I don't really think he stopped loving her until recently, maybe after he met you."

Karen shook her head a little. "Honey, you would know more about that than I would. You've known him a lot longer."

"Do you know anything about my mother?"

"Not really," Karen said hoping that she was a convincing liar. "I just know she left right after you were born."

Elise nodded and looked away.

"Honey, if you have questions about your mother, you need to ask your dad."

Elise got up from the table. She had been doing homework at a nearby desk and had left a binder on top. Karen watched her open the binder and pull a folded piece of newspaper from the binder's back pocket. "I need to show you something, but you have to promise not to tell my father."

"I can't promise you that, Elise. He's your father. I'm flattered that you want to confide in me, but if there's something important that he should know, I have no right to keep it from him."

Elise swallowed hard and unfolded the newspaper. She looked at it for a few seconds before speaking again. "I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't tell me father, but if you have to, then I'll understand."

Karen squinted and shook her head to indicate that she didn't understand the secrecy. "Honey, are you in some kind of trouble?"

Elise put the newspaper article on the table in front of Karen, who stared at it not knowing what to say.

"Do you know who this woman is?" Elise asked.

"Her name is Collette Stenger."

"Apparently that's an alias," Elise said quietly. "I did some research on the internet. She has other aliases, too. One of them is Ava Stroebel. That's my mother's name."

"How did you come across that article? Stenger's role in the attack was pretty obscure. It didn't get much press coverage."

"Not long after the terrorist attack, we had a current events assignment to find and summarize an article on the terrorist attack. One of the girls in my class found this article. When she saw the picture, she thought that the woman looked like me, so she brought it in just because she thought it was kind of cool. At first, when she showed it to me, I didn't think much about it. A bunch of us looked at it and laughed about how maybe I could be related to an international terrorist.

"A couple of weeks later I was cleaning out my binder and I was going to throw the article away. Before I did, I decided to read it. It said that she was from Germany and had been a communist sympathizer living in Russia in the 90's. I don't know much about my mother, but my dad has told me that much. The story just sounded too familiar. So then I started doing some research. There wasn't much available, but there were a few articles and a couple of them mentioned her other aliases. They also said that she had worked in the US embassy in Germany. I knew that my father met her at the US embassy. It all just fell into place a week or two ago," Elise explained. "So, where is she now? Is she in prison?"

Karen nodded. "She's in federal prison here in California. She pleaded guilty to all of the charges and was sentenced to twenty years."

"So you knew all about it," Elise said, her voice soft and cool.

"Yes, honey, I did. Your father told me about it right after we started dating."

"He told you but he wouldn't tell me!" Elise said as she started to cry. "Why did you both keep this from me?"

"Elise, believe me, your father didn't know what to do or what to tell you. He didn't want to hurt you any more than you'd already been hurt by your mother. Honey, don't be angry with him. He did what he thought was best for you. He loves you so much and he hates that your mother hurt you the way she did." Karen wrapped her arms around Elise and let her cry. "Please, don't be angry with him."

It didn't take Elise long to settle down. She pulled away from Karen and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cry. It just happened."

"You don't have to apologize. You're allowed to cry," Karen comforted her. She fixed some hairs that had pulled out of Elise's French braids.

"Are you going to tell my father?"

"That you cried?" Karen said trying to lighten the moment.

"No, that I know about my mother," Elise clarified.

"I'm not going to tell him, honey, but I think that you should."

"Why? It won't change things."

"That's not the point. It doesn't make sense for you to keep it from him. I actually think it would lift a huge burden off of his shoulders. I really think you should tell him."

"I'll have to think about it."

"Take your time. When you're ready to talk, he'll be ready to listen. Until then, I won't breathe a word of this to him."

Elise and Karen picked Bill up at the airport the next day. "How was girls' week?" he asked as he kissed them both.

"It was great!" Elise told him. "See," she said holding out her hands in front of him, "we got our nails done and," she said batting her eyelashes "we got out eyebrows waxed."

"Doesn't that hurt?" Bill asked scrunching his face in an expression of pain. At the same time he noticed how grown up the perfectly arched brows made his little girl look.

"It's the price we women pay for beauty. Right, Elise?" Karen said smiling.

By the time Bill claimed his luggage and they got the car and drove home, it was nearly seven o'clock. As soon as they arrived home, Elise took her suitcases and backpack upstairs to her room.

"Did you two rent a movie for movie night?" Bill asked.

"No," Karen told him. "I thought you might be tired from the time change and you and Elise need some time alone."

Bill reached for Karen and pulled her into his arms. "I'd like to spend time alone with you, too," he said as he kissed her neck. "I missed you. If you stay, we can curl up on the couch and do a little more of this after Elise goes to bed."

"I missed you, too and I want us to spend some time alone and if you keep doing what you're doing now, I'm going to melt right here," Karen said as she closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. "But I think it should wait. I think you and Elise need some time."

Bill stopped kissing her and pulled back enough to look her in the eye. "Did something happen while I was gone? Is everything okay between you two?"

"We're fine, Bill. The week gave us a great chance to bond over nail polish and Chinese food, but Elise needs to spend some time with you now. She and I had fun, but she missed you."

Bill nodded. He understood; it was just that a week away from Karen had heightened his awareness of how important she had become to him and how much he loved her. Coming home today and having Karen and Elise greet him at the airport simply confirmed what he already knew: the three of them needed to be a family. Now he just had to figure out how to ask her.

Bill's thoughts were interrupted by Elise bounding down the stairs. "You aren't going home, are you, Karen?"

"I thought I would. Your dad needs to get some rest and you two need to catch up."

"I wish you wouldn't go," Elise told her as she hugged her. "I had a great time. Thank you for everything."

"I had a great time, too. Home is going to be lonely without you. I got used to having you there."

They all said their good byes, promised to talk the next day and Karen headed home. Once Karen left, Bill and Elise settled in for the evening. Elise told Bill all about her week. She was a talkative as usual, but something about her manner seemed restrained. Bill couldn't put a finger on it, but years of intelligence work told him that she was holding something back.

Elise went to bed a little earlier than usual, something else that Bill found strange. She claimed that she and Karen had been up late the night before, but it didn't wash with Bill. Twelve year olds would stay up half the night it you let them regardless of how tired they were.

Bill went upstairs a half hour later to get ready for bed. The light in Elise's room was off, but he could tell that she wasn't asleep. When Elise slept she was silent. Not just quiet, absolutely silent. She rarely moved or rolled over, her breathing was so soft and subtle as to be almost frightening to a father who went in to check on her before going to bed. But that night was different. From the hallway he could hear her covers rustling as she repeatedly turned as if trying to find a comfortable position. He also could hear her sighing quietly each time she repositioned herself. Something was wrong; he just didn't know what it was or how to make her confide in him.

He was ready for bed and planning to read for a little while when Bill realized that his reading glasses were downstairs in his study. He had gone down to get them and was about to turn to go back upstairs when a noise behind him made him jump.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't mean to scare you," Elise said almost timidly.

Bill noticed that she was holding something behind her back. "Sweetheart, what are you doing still awake? You went to bed over an hour ago," Bill noted.

Elise looked down and shrugged. "I couldn't sleep."

"Ellie, is there something you want to talk about?" he asked her gently.

Elise said nothing but handed him the folded piece of newspaper. Bill put on his reading glasses and opened the paper. He only looked at it for a second before setting it on his desk and taking off his glasses. "Where did you get this?"

"Does it matter?" Elise asked.

"No, I guess it doesn't," Bill responded.

He sat down on the leather sofa that lined one side of the study. Elise saw an immediate change in his demeanor. She couldn't quite explain it. His head was down and his shoulders slumped. He looked defeated. Yes, that was it, defeated. That was the only way to describe it. He looked defeated and Elise hated that her take-charge father suddenly looked like he wasn't in charge at all. He was sad and tired and lonely and defeated.

"I'm sorry, Elise," he whispered. "I never wanted you to know. She hurt you so much and I thought that by telling you it would just hurt more. It seemed to be better if you never knew the truth. Please, don't be angry with me."

"I'm not angry, Dad. I was a little at first, but I think I'm just more hurt than anything else. All I ever wanted was the truth. If the truth was that my mother was a bad person, then that's what I wanted to know. You always made her sound like she was a good person who made one mistake. How long have you known that she worked with terrorists?"

"I just found that part out the day of the terrorist attacks when we arrested her. That's the truth, Elise, I swear it is. Until that time, I honestly believed that she was a good person who made one mistake. Maybe part of my keeping it from you is that I had a hard time believing it myself. I couldn't imagine that I could have loved someone who turned out to be so bad and who could be responsible for hurting so many people. I couldn't imagine that I had been so wrong about her."

Elise sat down on the sofa close to Bill and he instinctively pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "I love you so much, Ellie. I never wanted to hurt you. Please believe me."

"It's okay, Dad. I understand. I know you always want what's best for me. I appreciate that." Bill and Elise sat quietly for a few moments. It was Elise who spoke again. "Is there anything else that I should know?"

"She asked about you."

"Really?" Elise said raising her perfectly groomed eyebrows.

"She wanted to know all about you. She wanted to see a picture of you. She said that she understands now what a mistake it was to abandon you. If it means anything to you, sweetheart, I think she's sincerely sorry."

"It's easy to be sorry when you're wearing handcuffs," Elise commented sarcastically.

Bill hesitated for a moment and then spoke. "If you really want it, I could probably arrange for you to meet her. The prison is just a couple of hours from here."

"Do you want me to meet her?"

"Not really, but then again I'm not sure that's my decision. I think you'll have to make that decision."

Elise shook her head without a second thought. "I don't have any desire to meet her. I did at one time. I just wanted to talk to her and to find out how you could walk away from your own baby. I wanted her to know that it's hard to grow up and not have a mother who loves you, but I don't feel that way any more."

"What changed your mind?"

"Karen did. I mean, Karen treats me like her own daughter. Now I know what it's like to be loved by a mother. I don't need to meet my own mother who really doesn't love me anyway. I've got a mother in my life now who does love me."

Bill smiled a warm, infectious smile and pulled Elise just a little bit closer. She saw his eyes fill with tears, something that almost never happened. "How did I get so lucky? You are the best daughter I could have ever hoped for."

"Grandma always says 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree'." Bill laughed as Elise put her arms around him and hugged him. "Can we make some hot cocoa and just sit here and snuggle for a while?"

"You bet, sweetie, I'll get the mugs and the milk. You get the cocoa and the marshmallows."

"Deal!" Elise said happily as she pulled Bill from the couch.

He smiled again. His little girl was back. All the grown up affect and maturity was out the window. She was a little girl who wanted hot cocoa and to spend time in her father's arms like she had when she was younger.

Elise put the cocoa and marshmallows in the mugs that Bill had taken down from a high shelf while he tended to the milk on the stove. They were fussy about their milk and Bill hovered over it, watching it expectantly. They liked the milk scalded but not boiled. It had to reach that perfect temperature before it boiled and ruined the whole taste. More than one pan of milk had been poured down the sink because it had reached the boiling point and Bill was making sure that this one wasn't one of them.

At the same time as he was staring at the pan of milk, he was thinking about what Elise had just said about Karen, about how Karen had become a mother to her. This seemed as good a time as any to broach the subject of marriage with Elise.

"Ellie," he said as the first wisps of steam started rising from the milk, "when you said that Karen had become like a mother to you, did you mean that?"

"Yeah, I meant it. Why?"

"You know that Karen and I love each other very much. How would you feel if I said that I wanted to marry her?"

"You do!" Elise said launching herself across the room and into her father's arms. "Dad, that would be great. I'd love it. When are you going to ask her? Can you call her now or is it too late?"

"Slow down, kiddo! I can't ask her over the phone at midnight. A woman likes a little romance you know: dinner, candles, music. Besides that, I have to get a ring and I'd like to talk to her kids first. They don't have to be thrilled about it, but I would like to know that they'll at least support their mother's decision if she says 'yes'," Bill explained as he poured the scalded milk into the mugs. The marshmallows bubbled to the surface and began melting, leaving a smooth white coating across the top.

"So, when will you ask her?"

"Give me a week to make those phone calls and to shop for a ring."

"Can I come with you? I want to help pick it out!"

Bill handed Elise a mug. She was practically shaking with excitement. How could he say no? "If you'd like to go with me you can," he said, "but there's a catch here, Ellie. You can't tell anyone about this. I'm serious, sweetheart. I'll talk to Karen's family tomorrow and I'm going to tell them the same thing. I don't want to run the risk that this will get back to her before I get the chance to propose. So you can't tell anyone, not Aunt Jane or your grandparents and not anyone at school."

"Not even Katie?" Elise said looking disappointed.

"Especially not Katie."

"She'll never forgive me, Dad!"

"Better that she never forgives you than that I never forgive you. If Katie's mother finds out, I'm doomed. She'll have it broadcast on the evening news. Elise, you need to promise me right now that you won't tell anyone and if you break that promise I'll be angrier than you've ever seen me."

"I won't tell anyone, Dad, I promise. It might cost you a couple of rocky road ice cream cones, though," she told him smiling.

Bill laughed. "That sounds like a worthwhile investment."

Elise and Bill sat back down on the sofa. Elise curled up against her father. She was holding the warm mug with both hands and sipping the cocoa. "When you and Karen get married, where will we live?"

"We haven't discussed that yet, sweetheart, so I can't say for sure. I would imagine that she would want to sell her condo and move in here. Maybe at some point we'll look at something a little bit bigger."

"Do you think it'll be alright with Karen if you and I have cocoa and snuggle like this once in a while. You know, just the two of us."

"I think she'll be fine with that."

"A lot of things are going to change, aren't they, Dad?"

"Some things will change. Does that bother you?"

"No, not really. I'm just happy that we'll have Karen living with us."

"You know what will never change, Elise?"

"No, what?"

"How much I love you. That can never change."


	8. The Future Part VI

The Future – Part VI

Elise counted the days until Saturday. She couldn't wait to go ring shopping with her father. She was sure that this was the most exciting thing that she had ever done. Until now she thought that flying to Phoenix all by herself to see her grandparents was exciting, but this blew a one hour flight to Phoenix right out of the water.

Silently, Bill was counting the days, too. He had talked to each of Karen's children and the results were much as he expected going into it. Bill had met all three of them several weeks earlier when they all came to LA to visit Karen for Easter. He had gotten along well with both of her sons, but Danielle had been a little more distant and harder to warm up to. When he spoke to each of them on the phone, Jake and Nathan were both quick to give their blessings to the relationship. Danielle was less enthusiastic, but she made it clear that she would not stand in their way.

Bill explained to her that he and Elise were going ring shopping the next Saturday and he hoped to get her input since she knew her mother's taste better than either of them did. They would narrow down the selection to four or five rings and then call her. Bill would send her pictures over the phone and she could let him know which ring she thought her mother would like best. His suggestion worked like a charm. Danielle immediately perked up and seemed happy to be included. She told him that she would be waiting for his call on Saturday and ended the conversation by saying that she was happy that her mother had found someone who was so caring. She still wasn't jumping up and down excited, but in Bill's mind, at least it was a start.

Saturday finally arrived and ring shopping proved to be every bit as much fun as Elise had hoped. For her father, however, it was confusing and overwhelming. Elise had no trouble picking out her four favorite rings while Bill debated the color and shape and caret weight. They finally agreed on five rings and called Danielle to get her opinion. A sales woman modeled each ring as Bill took pictures and sent them to her. Danielle's response was the same for each of the first three rings: "That's pretty. Let's see the next one." It was the fourth ring that got her attention. It was an emerald cut diamond just under a caret in weight and set with a smaller, triangular cut diamond on either side. "Bill, that's it!" she squealed. "Mom will love that one. The emerald cut is her favorite. You have to get that one."

"Are you sure?" he asked tentatively.

"Absolutely. She'll love that one. My only problem with it is that it's set in yellow gold. Can you get it set in white gold? She'd like that better."

Bill asked the woman behind the counter who currently had the beautiful ring on her finger. She checked the computer and came back to him.

"We don't have that ring in stock in white gold, but I can order it. It'll take about two weeks to come in."

"Dani, are you sure that your mother would prefer the white gold?" Bill asked not really wanting to drag this out another two weeks.

"I'm sorry, Bill, but I know she would like it better in white."

"That settles it then, I'll order it in white gold and wait for it," Bill told her before they said their good byes.

The ring ordered, Bill and Elise exited the jewelry store and headed for home. Elise was practically distraught.

"Dad," she said in a tone just whiny enough to annoy her father, "you aren't really going to wait until the ring gets here to ask her, are you?

Bill's response was monosyllabic: "Yes."

"But, Dad, why do you have to wait. You can ask her and tell her the ring is coming."

"Where's your sense of romance? If a man ever proposes to you and he doesn't have a ring to go with it, I'll make sure that I have something to say about it! Ellie, I absolutely will not ask Karen to marry me until I have the ring in my hand. This discussion is over."

Elise knew better than to continue after her father had used his famous "This discussion is over" line, but she did anyway. "Dad! When the ring gets here in two weeks I'll be in Phoenix with Grandma and Grandpa. I won't even be here in LA."

"Sweetheart, I hate to break this to you, but you're not going to be present when I ask Karen to marry me. That's not a moment that warrants an audience."

"I'm not stupid, Dad! I know I'm not going to be right there with you. I just don't want to be so far away. I guess that kind of sounds stupid, but it's just how I feel."

Bill softened, "I'll call you as soon as I think it's appropriate. Okay?"

"I guess," Elise conceded with a sigh.

For Elise, the next two weeks were so busy that they seemed to whiz past in some kind of flash. The school year was ending and Elise immersed herself in studying for finals. She would easily get A's in English, Spanish and social studies as long as she got B's on the finals. Science was another story; she couldn't possibly pull off anything better than a B in that, so there was no point in even trying. Algebra would require an A+ on the final to get an A in the class, consequently, that was where she focused her time and energy. It didn't leave her much time to ponder her father's upcoming engagement.

Bill, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck. While his daughter spent quiet hours studying, he had hours and hours of free time to think. He couldn't remember why they had discussed it, but during a conversation months earlier, Karen had laughed about the fact that getting engaged to Brian hadn't been a very romantic event. While all of her college girlfriends were getting engaged over romantic dinners or at picnics on the beach, Brian had taken her to a jewelry store, pointed to the ring he wanted to buy and said that if she wanted to get married that he would buy the ring. She had said yes, of course, but had barely been able to hide her disappointment.

Bill refused to let history repeat itself. He fully intended to make this the most romantic night of Karen's life. He searched the internet for the perfect restaurant and after reading reviews on thirty or forty different places, decided on "Surfside". It had received numerous five star ratings and sat just off the beach. The beach seemed the perfect place to propose. Now he had to decide just what he wanted to say. That might prove to be the hardest part of all. Bill spent hours pacing his study trying to come up with the perfect speech. It had to be romantic and heartfelt. He considered kneeling but wondered if that was corny. This wasn't coming together the way he wanted it to and he had the feeling that the two of them were going to be standing on the beach, he was going to mumble something incoherent and hand her the ring, thus ruining all of his plans for a the most romantic night of her life. _This is why I've never been married, _he told himself. _I'm just no good at romance!_

Now, with the two weeks behind him, Bill found himself on Friday afternoon at the airport taking Elise to catch her flight to Phoenix.

"After you drop me off, are you going to pick up the ring?" she asked him as they walked along the concourse toward the security check point.

"That's right. Once I know your plane is in the air, I'll go to the jewelry store." Bill tried hard to sound normal, but he was so nervous that he doubted that he was hiding it well.

"Are you two going out tonight?"

"No, I don't think so. After I pick up the ring, I'm going into the office. I have a lot of work on my desk, so I'll be there until late this evening. I'll probably just head home then."

"And you already have your reservation for dinner tomorrow night at 'Surfside'?"

"Yes."

"Which suit are you wearing? Don't wear blue pinstripes. You look like a lawyer on his way to court in that. Oh, and don't wear that black one. That one makes you look like an undertaker. I think you should go more casual. The black tweed, double-breasted jacket with black pants and a red tie would look great. I'd go with that."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind," Bill said feeling vaguely annoyed that his daughter was giving him fashion advice.

"Are you going to ask her before dinner or after? Or you could do it during. So when are you going to ask?"

"Elise, stop! I'm nervous enough without you wanting a play by play before the fact. I'll give you all of the details when I call you Sunday morning."

"Can you call Saturday night if it's not too late? I could wait up."

"No! Dinner isn't until 8:30, so we won't get back until late," Bill said trying to keep his voice down and not attract attention as his temper boiled over. "Don't expect me to call Saturday night. I've already told you that I'll call Sunday morning. And if I get the impression at any point that your grandparents know anything about this, Elise, I won't forgive you. Do you understand me?" he said each word distinctly as if to emphasize its importance. "I'll tell them on Sunday morning when I talk to you."

"Sorry, Dad. I'm just really excited. I'll stop bugging you and I promise not to say a word to Grandma and Grandpa."

They stopped at the security check point. Bill readjusted Elise's backpack. "You've got your ticket and your identification, right?"

"Got it," she said holding them out to him.

"And you know which gate you're going to, right?"

"A-11. All I have to do is go down the A corridor and count to 11. I can handle that, Dad. I've flown alone before, you know."

"Yes, I know, but you've always had an escort from the airline before because you were under 12. Now you have to do it on your own. I want you to call me when you get to the gate."

"I know. I'll call you."

"When you get to Phoenix, call Grandma and Grandpa so you know where they're waiting. Get off the plane and go straight toward the terminal. No stops in between. Try and follow a family that's getting off the plane. That way you'll look like you belong to them and no one will bother you. Don't talk to anyone. If anyone bothers you, you know what to do, just start screaming so you attract attention."

"Geez, Dad! Relax. You've been dealing with terrorists way too long! I'll be fine.

"I know. I just can't help worrying about you. I'm a dad. It goes with the territory."

Elise looked at her watch. "I've got to go, Dad."

"Okay. Give me a kiss. I love you. Have a good time at Grandma and Grandpa's," Bill said as he hugged her.

"I love you, too. Good luck tomorrow night. I'll have my fingers crossed."

Bill stood and waited until Elise passed through security. Once on the other side, she turned and waved at her father and blew him a kiss. Bill waved back and watched as Elise turned and walked toward gate A-11. He waited until she was fully out of site and then walked toward the terminal to get a cup of coffee while he waited for the plane to depart.

About two minutes later Elise called to let Bill know that she had arrived safely at the gate. "Good," he said as if he were talking to a field unit. "Are you all checked in?"

"I'm in line to check in now," Elise told him.

"Okay, after you check in," he started.

"I know, Dad! I'll sit near the check station so that if anyone bothers me, the airline employees would see it. Dad, we've been through this ten times. I'll call you right before I board."

"Okay, I'll talk to you then." Bill shook his head as he hung up. He knew he wouldn't relax until his father called and said that Elise had arrived safely. He waited pretty patiently for the next half hour until Elise called again and said she was boarding the plane.

Fifteen minutes later the fight arrival and departure board told Bill that Elise's plane was in the air. Air time was about an hour and fifteen minutes. Bill checked his watch as he left the airport. By the time he picked up the ring and drove to CTU, Elise should be landing.

The rest of the day went according to plan. Bill picked up the ring and then drove to CTU. Karen called while he was on his way.

"Hi," she said as Bill answered. "Did Ellie get off okay?"

"The flight was on time. I expect to hear from her in about fifteen or twenty minutes," Bill told her.

"Great. I'm sure she'll have a wonderful time with your parents. I know she was looking forward to it. Are you on your way into work?"

"I'm just a couple of blocks away."

"How late do you plan on working?"

Bill looked at his watch. "Well, it's almost two o'clock now. I guess I'll probably be here until about eight or nine."

"You're just going home after then, right?"

"I think so."

"Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow evening then. What time are you picking me up?"

"I should be there around a quarter of eight. That'll give us time to get to the restaurant for an 8:30 reservation."

"So, where are we going anyway?"

"Sorry, honey. It's a surprise. You'll find out when we get there. Just be dressed up."

"If I wear a black cocktail dress, is that dressed up enough?"

"That sounds perfect. Is it low cut? I could find myself looking forward to that."

Karen laughed. "Then I guess that's what I'll be wearing. I'm sure we'll talk before then. Don't work too late. Call me when you get home."

"I will. I love you, honey."

"I love you, too."

Bill parked his car and was entering CTU just as his phone rang. It was his father letting him know that Elise had arrived safely. Bill found himself heaving a quiet sigh of relief and wondering if he was going to be a basket case a few years in the future when she went off to college.

He settled in at his desk behind a mound of files that all needed his attention. Unfortunately, not even a foot thick stack of paperwork could interest him in work at that moment. All he could think about was the ring in his pocket. He took it out more than once to look at it. It sparkled in the light as Bill tilted it from angle to angle to examine it more closely.

"What have you got there?" Chloe asked as she entered his office.

Bill closed the hinged box with a snap and returned it to his pocket. "Chloe, don't you knock?"

"I did, but you didn't answer."

"Maybe that meant that you weren't invited in," Bill said testily.

"Sorry, I just thought you'd want these reports. As a department head I'm obliged to provide you with weekly reports and it's Friday in case you haven't noticed."

"You're correct on all counts, Chloe, but the reports can be left with my secretary. You don't have to hand deliver them."

"It seems counterproductive to carry them to your secretary and then have her carry them to you. I'm just eliminating the middle man," she snapped.

"Chloe, give me the reports! This discussion is over. I feel like I'm arguing with a twelve year old!"

"Yeah, right," Chloe said sarcastically. "As if a single guy like you would know anything about that!" she huffed as she walked away.

Bill smiled despite his anger. _Oh, Chloe, _he thought. _You have no idea! _

It was close to seven o'clock when Karen arrived home from work. She looked around her empty condo and tried to decide how she would spend the quiet evening alone. She wasn't used to being alone on a Friday evening any more since most Fridays were spent with Bill. Elise usually had some sort of school activity or party on Friday evenings and after they dropped her off, she and Bill would spend the time together. _Oh well,_ she thought, _quiet is not necessarily bad. _She finally decided to take a long soak in her Jacuzzi tub and then she would do her nails for dinner the next night.

The bath proved relaxing. Karen soaked for a long time, finally deciding to get out before she turned into a prune. She walked into the bedroom wrapped in a towel and pawed through her dresser drawers looking for her favorite lounge clothes: a pair of pale lime colored satin pants and a matching print cotton camisole. She slipped into the clothes, grabbed a bottle of red nail polish and headed for the den. On the way she picked up an open bottle of wine and a glass from the kitchen.

Now with wine in one hand and the television remote in the other, Karen set about looking for something worthwhile to watch on television. She stopped after just a few channel changes at one of the old movie channels. Karen loved old movies and one of her favorites, _Singing in the Rain_, was about three quarters over. She stopped to watch the rest and checked to see what movie was on next.

"Yes!" Karen said to the empty air. _Singing in the Rain_ would be followed by her all time favorite movie: _Casablanca_.

_A bottle of wine and Humphrey Bogart. A single girl couldn't do any better than that when spending a Friday night alone, _Karen mused. She polished her nails quickly to make sure that she could give Casablanca her undivided attention. Karen was blowing on her nails trying to speed up the drying process and the closing credits of _Singing in the Rain_ were just starting when her phone rang.

"Damn it!" she said again to the empty air. "I don't want to talk right now. I want to watch my movie!"

Her attitude changed entirely when she glanced at the caller ID and saw that the call was from Bill.

"Hi," she said warmly into the phone. "Are you home yet?"

"No, not yet. I was on my way home and I started thinking about how lonely and quiet the place was going to be without Elise. I was passing Sweet Stuff bakery and I decided to pick up a couple of pieces of the chocolate bourbon cake and two cups of coffee. Are you interested in a little dessert?"

"Sure, if you're interested in watching _Casablanca_."

"I'd love to."

"Good, how long will it take you to get here?"

"Well let's see. It takes about six seconds from the elevator to your door. I'm about half way. Which means you can open the door right now."

"Are you kidding me?" Karen laughed and stood up to go to the door.

She opened it and there stood Bill, still holding his cell phone to his ear. In his other hand he held the coffee carrier with two cups and a small cardboard bakery box precariously balanced on it.

"You're so sweet," Karen gushed as she reached out to unburden him of the coffee and cake. She leaned in for a quick kiss and carried the items into the kitchen. She could hear Bill taking off his jacket and hanging it over the back of a dining room chair. "If you'll put the cake on plates," she called from the kitchen, "I'll go put some more clothes on." As soon as Bill came in she realized that she was wearing an awfully skimpy camisole and immediately felt self conscious.

Bill caught her by the arm as she exited the kitchen. "Now why would you do that," he whispered as he kissed her cheek and ran his hands up and down her bare arms. "I like you this way."

Karen tensed and stepped back a bit. "We should drink the coffee before it gets cold," she suggested.

Bill was able to take a hint as well as the next guy, so he quickly backed off. "I'll put the cake on plates. If you want to change clothes, go ahead."

"No, that's okay," Karen said not quite meeting his eye. "If you like this I won't change."

They carried the cake and coffee into the den and sat down just as the movie was starting. They both seemed a little tense at first, but by the middle of the movie, Bill had removed his tie and opened his shirt. He kicked off his shoes and propped his feet on the coffee table. Karen curled up with her feet tucked under her as she leaned against Bill, her head resting on his shoulder.

Karen wished that she could concentrate on the movie but she really wasn't able to. The sensation of Bill's hands on her bare arms earlier had been like an electrical charge through her body. Now his arm was around her nearly bare shoulders and he was absently tracing circles on her upper arm and she liked the feeling. She couldn't help but think how nice it would be to feel his hands on the rest of her body. But in point of fact, she was terrified. Her sexual experience amounted to over twenty-five years with one man who, as it happened, was gay. She suddenly felt like the kid who had failed math repeatedly but had been passed on to the next grade year after year by sympathetic, well meaning teachers. Now, that same student was in high school and having to admit that he couldn't add two and two together and get four. In short, Karen saw herself as a middle aged woman with three kids and no real sexual experience. How different was sex with Brian than it would be with Bill? What did Bill expect of her?

Bill spoke interrupting her train of thought.

"What a great movie," he said as _Casablanca_ came to a close. He stretched and took his feet off of the coffee table and his arm from around Karen's shoulders. He looked at his watch. "Wow, it's after midnight. I need to head home," he said as he stood.

Karen stood and reached for his hand. "Why do you need to go? You already said that it's just going to be quiet and lonely without Elise." She blurted it out without really thinking about what she was saying, but as soon as she said it, she knew that she meant it.

Bill raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Are you suggesting that I stay here?"

"I'm not just suggesting it. I'm asking you to stay," Karen said confidently.

Bill shook his head slightly remembering how Karen had pulled away just a few hours earlier when he was caressing her arms. Now she was asking him to stay. He wasn't sure what to do with the mixed message. "Are you sure that's what you want."

Karen nodded and looked down as she put her arms around his waist. "I'm very sure." _I sure hope he doesn't notice that I'm shaking!_ she thought.

Bill put his hands on either side of her face and turned it up so that he could look at her. "Are you sure you're ready for this? You seemed so uncomfortable with me touching you earlier."

"Yes, I'm sure. I've wanted you for a long time, but we never had the opportunity. I'm not going to tell you that the thought doesn't scare me a little."

"I don't want it to scare you, honey. I want it to excite you."

"Oh, believe me, it excites me, too, but it still scares me," she smiled a soft, embarrassed smile. "I love you and this is the natural next step, but you have to understand that I've only ever had one other lover and he was gay. I'm almost 50 and I don't know what to expect from a heterosexual man. Not to mention that the thought of undressing in front of a man at my age and after having three kids, is pretty intimidating."

Bill understood and pulled Karen close. "The first time with a new lover is always a journey into the unknown regardless of your previous experience. As much as I want you right now, I'm a little nervous, too."

"You shouldn't be. Anything you do is going to excite me," she told him as she stared into his crystal blue eyes.

"I feel the same way about you. And by the way, do you think that I look like I did when I was eighteen?" he asked with a smile.

"No, but it's different for a woman."

"Not in my mind. Honey, _you_ turn me on. Believe me, I'm dying to undress you and feel what its like not to have anything between us, but it's your mind and your heart and your soul that really turn me on. I didn't fall in love with your body. I fell in love with you.

Karen didn't need to hear any more; Bill had eliminated all of her fears. She leaned her face into his and began to kiss him. Bill let out a soft groan that excited her even further.

"Did I ever tell you," she started in a husky whisper while Bill was kissing her neck and her knees were threatening to give way, "that I have a little two person Jacuzzi in my master bathroom?"

Bill groaned a little louder this time. "And you've felt the need to keep it a secret from me all this time?"

"There never seemed to be a good time to bring it up. Every time I considered it, it seemed like I was trying to seduce you."

"Did you think I'd have a problem with being seduced?"

Karen laughed and Bill launched into another flurry of kisses. Now it was Karen's turn to groan.

Somehow between kisses they found their way to the bedroom. And somewhere along the way they had managed to remove most of their clothing.

"I'll go start the water in the Jacuzzi," Karen whispered as they entered the bedroom.

"I don't think we're going to make it that far," Bill panted in response.

"That's fine with me," Karen hissed into his ear. She turned and pulled back the covers on the bed. They stripped each other of their remaining clothes and collapsed on the bed.

What followed was hours of breathless lovemaking. Their conversation reduced to one and two word phrases: More! Again! Don't stop! Oh, God! It was far more intense than either had expected or even thought possible and finally they fell into an exhausted sleep.

It was ten o'clock the next morning when a ringing phone brought them out of their reverie. Bill recognized the ring as coming from his cell phone and dragged himself out of bed to find the phone among his carelessly discarded clothing. He found his pants near the bedroom door and pulled the phone from the pocket. As he answered it he stepped into the hallway to try and avoid waking Karen.

"Hello," he said without looking to see who the call was from.

"Hi, Dad," Elise said happily. "I wanted to call and say good morning."

"Well, good morning," Bill said in return. He glanced into the bedroom and saw that Karen was awake. He put a finger to his lips to silence her and then mouthed "Elise" to her so she knew who he was talking to. Karen nodded her understanding, got up and went into the bathroom, silently closing the door. Bill could hear her running the water in the Jacuzzi and he fully intended to get back to her as soon as possible.

"Did you just get out of bed? You sound sleepy."

"I worked late and got home pretty late," he lied. "So I decided to sleep in. It's a little later than I realized."

Elise accepted the excuse unquestioningly. "Did you pick up the ring?" she asked eagerly.

"Yes, I did. Are your grandparents within listening distance?" Bill asked sure that his secret was doomed to be revealed before he ever asked Karen.

"No, Dad, I'm smarter than that. I took the dog for her walk and I brought my phone."

"That was good thinking."

"I get it from you. That's why Aunt Jane calls me 'Junior G-Man'."

"Your Aunt Jane is just a laugh a minute," Bill said sarcastically. "So, did you just call to make sure that I picked up the ring?"

"Yeah, and to make sure that you're not getting cold feet."

"Cold feet? Where did you hear that expression? I don't have cold feet and I'm going to ask her tonight. Are you satisfied?"

"I guess so, but I'll feel better when you call me _first thing_ tomorrow morning," Elise reminded him.

"I'll call. Don't worry. Is that everything? Are you finished arranging my personal life?"

Elise knew he was joking and she loved it but she needed for the conversation to take a more serious tone. "There's just one more thing."

"Okay, what's that?"

"It's a favor, really. I need you to ask Karen for a favor."

"What kind of favor?"

"After you get married, I want her to adopt me."

"Adopt you?"

"Yes. Legally. I want her to legally adopt me so that she's really my mother, not just my stepmother. Do you think she'd do that?"

"I think she'd be honored that you asked and I'm sure she'll agree." Bill could feel tears filling his eyes. Since before Elise was born, he had wanted her to have a mother who loved her. It had taken twelve years, but it had finally happened. She finally had the mother she had longed for, the mother she so desperately needed. He thought for a second of Ava, at what she had missed, and momentarily felt sorry for her. To love a child was fulfilling and somehow simply satisfying to the soul, but to have a child return that love was something entirely different. Being loved by a child carried its own depth and breadth of emotion that defied explanation. That was what Ava had missed out on and what Karen had known enough to enjoy.

"Thanks, Dad. I love you both and I can't wait until we can all be together all of the time."

"We love you, too, Ellie, and we miss you. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Okay?"

"Okay. Talk to you then. Good luck tonight."

Bill swallowed hard as he hung up the phone. Elise's request had taken him fully by surprise, but it was a good surprise and it made him incredibly happy. It also conjured up a huge batch of butterflies in his stomach. He still hadn't decided exactly how he was going to propose to Karen. He continued walking down the hall and into the dining room where he had left his jacket hanging on the back of a chair the night before. He removed the ring box from the inside pocket and looked at it again. That was it. He couldn't wait. The hell with dinner, he was going to ask her this morning. They could go out to dinner to celebrate, but after his discussion with Elise, he decided that he simply couldn't wait another ten hours to propose.

Bill went into the kitchen remembering that Karen had a bottle of champagne in the refrigerator. Karen had told him that the day her divorce was final she bought two bottles of champagne. Since it only took one to fully drown her sorrow (and she had the hangover the next day to prove it), she was saving the second bottle for a happier occasion.

Bill put the champagne on a tray along with orange juice, two glasses and the ring box. The box sat well below the lip of the tray so that he knew Karen wouldn't be able to see it from her vantage point in the hot tub. He practically shook with excitement as he carried the tray back to Karen's bedroom.

"Come in," Karen called when she heard Bill knock. She had just slipped into the bath and was eagerly awaiting his arrival.

"Look what I found," Bill said nodding toward the tray. "If it's a little too early for you to drink champagne, we can mix it with orange juice."

"That sounds great," Karen agreed.

Bill opened the champagne poured the two drinks and handed one to Karen before slipping into the water with her. They toasted by saying nothing but touching their glasses together and then kissing.

"Bill, last night…" Karen began after taking a long drink. "I don't know what to say. It was amazing. I've never felt that way before."

"Good," he said quietly as he kissed her cheek. "I always want it to be that way for you. You were pretty incredible yourself. If you noticed, I was enjoying myself as much as you were."

"Yeah, I noticed," she laughed. "There was one particular moment…"

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that," Bill said looking away and trying not to laugh. "I don't know what you were doing with your tongue, but you can feel free to do that anytime! I'll try to be a little quieter next time."

"Don't you dare! I loved it. My neighbors probably loved it, too. I'm not sure I'll be able to look at Mr. or Mrs. Appleby for a while," Karen grimaced just thinking of the dour couple who lived next door to her.

They settled into each other's arms and sipped their drinks.

"What did Elise want?" Karen asked.

"She just called to say hello." Bill hoped that Karen couldn't tell that he was lying through his teeth. "She said to tell you that she loves you and she misses you." That part wasn't a lie, so it came out much easier.

"That's sweet. I hope you told her that I love her and I miss her, too."

"I did," he assured her. "Would you like another drink?" he asked as he got out of the hot tub to mix a second one.

"Sure," Karen said as she handed her glass to him. "It seems a little strange to be sitting in a bathtub together naked and talking about your daughter. I'm sorry, Bill. I know I complicated things last night when I asked you to stay."

"Don't apologize. I could have said no. I wanted this as much as you did," he replied as he poured the drinks. He leaned toward Karen and handed one of them to her.

"So, what happens now? When Elise gets home next week, do we go back to living the way we were and sleeping alone every night? I'm not sure that's what I want."

Bill finished pouring his own drink, his back facing Karen. "That's not what I want either," he told her. Silently he opened the ring box and extracted its contents. He closed the ring in the palm of his hand before he turned and got back into the hot tub. He could feel his stomach churning.

"So how do we remedy the situation?" Karen asked.

Bill took her glass from her and set it on the side of the hot tub. He opened his hand to expose the ring and then carefully slid it onto her finger. Karen gasped in disbelief. "We get married. That's how we remedy it," he whispered through an emotion filled voice. It wasn't exactly the romantic speech he had so wanted to prepare, but it seemed to fill the bill at the moment.

"Oh my God, Bill!" was all Karen could manage to say. "It's beautiful. I can't believe this is happening. I love you so much."

Bill pulled her into his arms and they kissed for a long time. "I'm sorry," he said as the kiss broke. "I wanted this to be the perfect moment. I wanted to do it at dinner tonight and I planned to take you on a romantic stroll on the beach, but I just couldn't wait another minute. I know this wasn't very romantic…"

"Are you kidding me! We're sitting in a hot tub drinking champagne after making love half the night. It doesn't get any more romantic than this. I won't exactly be telling my friends or my kids how we got engaged," she laughed, "but I'll always know and it will always be special to me."

"We have to come up with a plausible lie, because I know both Elise and Danielle are going to want to hear exactly how I proposed and they'll probably compare notes, so we have to tell the same story."

"We both work in government intelligence, there are no two people better suited to make up a lie that's plausible," Karen said smiling. "We'll work that out this afternoon."

"There's one more thing I have to tell you before we really make this official," Bill said.

"What's that?"

"Do you remember back when we went out to lunch after Jack was rescued and I first told you about Elise?"

"Of course I do."

"Well, I told you that day that I come with strings attached and that hasn't changed. When Elise called earlier, she wanted me to ask you a favor after I proposed tonight."

"Elise knew that you were proposing?"

"Yes, I felt like I had to talk to her and to your children before we took a step this big. I wasn't really asking their permission, but I did want to know that I had their support. All four of the kids were supportive."

"Even Dani?"

"Even Dani. She helped me pick out a ring." Bill stopped for a moment to explain the shopping trip.

"We got off track, Bill. What was the favor that Elsie wanted?"

"She wants you to adopt her."

"Adopt her?"

"That was my reaction. She said that she wants you to be her real mother and not just a stepmother."

"Oh, Bill," Karen started to cry. "I'd love nothing more. The answer is yes to everything. Yes, I want to get married and yes, I want to adopt Elise. How soon can we make this all happen?"

"Let's work out the details this week and we can tell her when she gets home." Bill paused for a second. "I hope you know how much I love you."

"I've never felt more loved in my life. And I love you, too."

Bill enveloped her in his arms unable to get enough of her. How a terrorist attack six months earlier could have put his past, his present and his future on such a collision course, he just couldn't figure out and he really didn't bother to try. Was it fate? Was it destiny? Was it all a part of some grand scheme? It didn't matter. All that mattered was that it happened and he and Karen and Elise were together now. They were a family facing a long and happy future together.

_Thanks again to my faithful readers for reading and reviewing. Some of you have been R&Ring my stories for over two years now and I really appreciate it. I feel as if I've become friends with some of you. _

_In just over two years I have posted 16 stories or a total of 142 chapters with over a half million words in them. You have responded in kind by sending me 1288 reviews to date. But after all of that I'm starting to feel a little burnt out. I'm, at least temporarily, out of ideas. I've never been able to say that before. In the past when I've finished a story, I always had an idea for another story in the back of my mind that I wanted to work on. _

_So, I've decided that I need a break, at least for a while. I'm really hoping that if/when I decide to post again that you will be there to read and review. If not, I understand. For those of you who haven't read my earlier stories, I'd love to have you read and review. I love to get reviews and I'm going to go crazy knowing that I don't have any new stories to post and that the reviews are going to stop. So, help me maintain my sanity and read and review some of my old stories! Thank you all. It is really gratifying to know that you took the time out of your busy lives to read something that I posted. I can't thank you enough._


End file.
